Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/05/22/send-your-name-to-mars-on-nasa.html
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This reminded me of when NASA invited people to send their signatures to go on a CD-ROM that was to be delivered to Mars on the Pathfinder mission back in the 90s. Which prompted me to see if the site for that mission was still up.
Guys. It totally is. And it’s a perfect 1990s time capsule.
I’m sure there are numerous tales about these things already, but the most recent one I’ve encountered is “Mars Opposition” from David Brin’s Insistence of Vision. Alas, only the audio version is (legally) available online. I won’t spoil it here, but then there are only so many ways a story like this can go.
John Carter or Rovey McRoverface
I dropped my name off a whilst back, oddly enough there was no one around to great me.
Eventually Martian lawyers will use the list to determine who to send the clean-up bill to.
Can I use my bbs handle? I don’t really want Elon Musk looking me up when he’s lonely up there.
This, obviously.
Although I’d be happy with Jeff at a pinch.
Some reasons to not go into space or Mars:
- Lack of toast.
- Death- surrounded by death.
- Lack of ice for my beverage. Yes, I am American.
- I can not get away from you in this spacecraft. Go away!
- I just want some toast or anything crunchy and flakey like toast.
- I forgot something. I don’t know what it will be, but I will forget something important back on Earth.
- You people are all very nice, but I do need some alone time.
- Yay, death is just MM away.
- Ironic lack of space because I will live in a fishbowl.
- Lack of swimming opportunities & lack of proper washing and sanitation.
- I am sure that within an hour of take off the air was 50% farts.
- Seriously, you guys go out for a group space walk. I’ll be fine here.
- Why is every bit of quite interrupted by an alarm klaxon.
- I get one phone call to my lawyer from space, and I cut the phone sanitizer loose too. Argh, could this trip get any worse.
- Months of quiet is nice, but the alarm klaxons never stop randomly sounding. Also the phone keeps ringing; The same phone I wont touch, because did you see their grimy hands.
- Even on landing there still is no toast.
- Did I turn off the oven before we left?
You have to be kidding me. Martian doxxing technology is certain to be better than ours. I wouldn’t send them anything that could possibly be linked back to me.
or Vilos Cohaagen?
No swimming
No bars
No outdoor cafe on a nice sunny day
No vacation
No deciding to move
No Netflix
No watching the birds
No puppies
No steak
No smoking weed
No outdoor sex
No barbecues
No baseball
No oxygen for dissidents
Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
Nah, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Landing Sites will be over the moon with the place.
I guess they’re okay- Just so long as there’s no Mormons.
It’s quite a way from Voyagers Golden Disk to Nano-engraved lists of names on a chip.
I’m not sure where we are headed with this, but is quite a way.
I would go for Ares, the Greek God equivalent of Mars.
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