Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/04/05/shia-labeoufs-new-films-gr.html
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Shia LaBeouf’s new film’s gross in the UK
But it isn’t gross elsewhere?
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Those extremely low numbers always surprise me. In my experience there are hardcore cinema completists who will watch literally everything and there is a certain background level of people who just show up and watch the next movie with free seats.
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This sort of thing has happened before.
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Maybe I am cynical, but I think that the “movie industry” has demonstrated that people will watch practically anything at least once. How the cartels responsible shape venues, marketing, advertising, etc has more to do with what they prefer to be know for than anything else.
I gave the example a while back how I went to a cinema about 15 miles away to see Jim Jarmusch’s Only Lovers Left Alive because I saw on their website that it was playing. But once I got there, it wasn’t listed on the marquee or anywhere else. When I tried to buy a ticket, the person had to go ask a manager about it. Then they sold to me a ticket and explained that the room I was looking for said Captain America: Winter Soldier instead of the title. Apparently I was the only one to buy a ticket that day.
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Man, even that Fifa’s United Passions wank session got a bigger audience.
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The Beef might want to stick to installation art. The public seems to like him better for that than for his film projects.
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The only reason to bring that much popcorn to see a Shia LaBeouf film is if you secretly suspected you were dead and in hell. Which, would of course explain why you were seeing a Shia LaBeouf film in the first place.
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I freaking love that film, but I’ve never met anyone who has seen it.
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Yeah, somebody will. I used to live behind the Century 8 multiplex in North Hollywood, when matinees were $4. I bought a ticket for Bad Boys 2 on a scorching September afternoon just for the air conditioning.
And that reminds me that back in 1991, before the Egyptian Theater was converted into the American Cinematheque, they showed 2nd run movies for a buck and a half. That’s why I saw Freejack.
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Obligatory
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I once made a snide comment about Shia LaBeouf on Reddit and got downvoted to oblivion. I chalked it up to a generational gap issue.
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I watched some Steven Seagal movie because I had to wait a couple of hours to get a tire replaced next door and there was nothing else playing. I wasn’t exactly entertained, but I think it may have made the time pass slightly more quickly.
I think if my only option was a Shia LaBeouf movie I would spend two hours attempting to meditate instead.
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I saw a poster for this the other day, and I remember thinking “well who’s going to go watch an artsy metropolitan like Shia LaBeouf pretending to be a big tough blue-collar soldier person?” And then I thought, “actually, it’s equally ridiculous if it’s Clint Eastwood or Charlton Heston doing it, and in fact it’s more dishonest to pretend the fiction is the reality”.
Anyway, it’s true that “I should go see that movie” did not feature in this stream of consciousness.
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Hey, if they have reasonably comfy seats, halfway fresh popcorn, Red Vines, something on the Cherry Coke / Dr Pepper / Mr Pibb spectrum, and working air conditioning, there are days when I’ll sit through anything.
Except Shakes the Clown.
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This is why I have seen Charlie’s Angels 2.
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So often that they’ve got a compilation article out of it.
Of course, if you look into it, these are all symbolic “released so we can fulfil a contract”, or “so it qualifies for prizes” films (Although it’s still embarrassing for the “stars” involved). I wonder what the lowest gross was for a film that was widely released.
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He’s occasionally very entertaining. Such that people who have only paid attention to him when he’s doing that, might actually be fans of him. My feelings on the guy are more of intense disappointment. Like I said he can be pretty entertaining, and he is legitimately a talented actor. But he’s an insufferable person, and 90% of what he does is in the insufferable end of things.
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Shia. LaBeouf. No. Exit.
