Server Lackey or Glorified Tech Support is what I used to call my sysadmin job since 85% was working break/fix tickets of one sort or another just on servers rather than workstations. Now all is do is load it up and make sure it is ready for use then let it be another group’s problem, so now I need a better name for Install Tech for servers.
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The “image couldn’t load” icon is always a good one for those.
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I was once asked what I wanted my title to be in an early dot-com company…I said “Lubricant” because I make everything happen smoother (sysadmin and scripter). They didn’t allow that.
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Chief Delegator? Head of Technical Problem Instantiation?
It is for a professional squash player.
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I’ll take Director of Pecksniffian Scrutiny
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I work for a large bureaucracy so we have our job classifications, which are attached to pay grids. Then we have class options, which describe sort of what you do within that job class. Then we have working titles, which is basically what you actually do. So I’m an Information Technology Specialist 3. My class option is IS Planning. My working title, and what I actually do, is Project Manager. Unless it is official paperwork, I tell people I’m a Project Manager, but don’t tell HR that. Without very strict job classifications, the whole system would break down, I’m sure.
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I once worked with a guy whose title was Chief Deception Officer.
The CFO?
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“Thanks folks, tip your waitress!”
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In the recent Market Basket uprising, one of the things the employees kept bringing up was that Artie T referred to them as associates. They were very offended whenever his replacements referred to them as employees.
When I ran a mall-chain store just outside of Boston, I referred to everyone who worked in the store as crew, rather than employees, and let them put anything they wanted on their nametags. I largely credit my successes in that job to those policies.
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There are 2 types of job titles:
- Titles to denote for salary range and responsibility. The internal company titles are meaningless to everyone but HR and regardless of the job title an employer assigns, a candidate is going to use a title that makes sense to recruiters and hiring managers on their resume.
- A title serving a marketing purpose to show expertise and responsibility, but customized to the employers market position and the audience.
A senior QA person, with management responsibilities working for a company doing financial software would likely have a biz card with “Sr. VP Quality Assurance” to denote seriousness and management role to hand to bankers at a meeting, a biz card with “Manager - DevOps QA” to hand to vendors and tech partners to show more specific industry details and a “Chief Software Masochist” to use in press releases or speaking engagements aimed at marketing the company as bleeding edge or a fun place to work.
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George III twice, we’re told.
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Yeah, it’s definitely an improvement over a previous employer where I had 4 completely separate jobs and one incredibly misleading lowly title. Though, given how they operated, I’m fairly certain they did that to keep their best employees from bailing to greener pastures. It certainly made my departure more difficult for me.
That or whatever they call the person in ultimate charge of marketing, I would suspect. 
Next time, try “catalyst” - that goes over better in tech companies.
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There is a clear difference between those who choose their job title as a limiting or even self-loathing moniker (i.e. “Server Lackey”) and those who make it aspirational (i.e. “Director of First Impressions”). Those who view it negatively are (I would guess) more likely to be unhappy in their job, and less likely to be respected by others for their job, and define their job in a way that gives them more opportunity; is the receptionist the person who decides the logo of the company? No, probably not. But the Director of First Impressions probably is.
All this actually reminds me of a story from my own work experience; I was out cleaning up the Exxon Valdez oil spill as a teenager, working as a beach cleanup guy - the lowest of the low. A buddy and I talked about how we coveted the role of “skiff man” - the guys who drove around in boats all day, running supplies, setting up booms, etc. That was the life of Riley, at least to a beach guy. “What’s the difference between them and us?” We pondered. “The boots.” we concluded. Y’see, beach guys wore regular rain gear and calf length rain boots. Skiff guys wore hip-waders, so they could get in and out of their boats in shallow water. The next day we went to the gear room and told the ladies there we needed hip waders. We went out on the dock and waited for a boat to come by looking for skiff men. It didn’t take long and the next thing you know, we were running our own little boat. Nobody asked if we were qualified, we were skiff men because we wore the boots.
Okay, that’s a little different than job title, but the lesson I learned there was that it’s not the job you have, it’s the job you make others think you have. It’s all about the boots. If you want to be stuck cleaning the muck, get yourself a rain suit. But if you want to be out on the seas, charting your own path, just make sure you’re wearing the right boots and the job will come to you.
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HR Titles and Business Card Titles don’t need to be the same thing. My HR Title is Principal Member of Technical Staff; my business card title is usually something like Developer or Security Researcher or whatever makes sense for the trade show I’m printing up business cards for.
I wish I could write my own title. I had about five jobs with the title “technical writer” which responsibilities ranged from sitting in a cube cleaning up badly translated from Japanese manuals to designing user interfaces, writing patent applications, and overseeing a programmer as we worked out the bugs in an automated book publishing format to web format process. It really has been limiting to my career to be stuck with the same bland title.
I hate that kind of semantic “distinction without a difference” bullshit, though. I worked at Whole Foods for two years while I was ABD and trying to build up a private practice. Being called a “Team Member” didn’t make me feel any less micro-managed when the administration changed to a bunch of asshole strivers who were gunning for the fast track up to corporate HQ. Calling the adult students at the online for-profit college where I recently taught “learners” didn’t make them any less whiny, excuse-making, plagiarizing, or grade-grubbing. Calling my medium skim mocha at Starbucks a “grande skinny no-whip” doesn’t make it any more Italian.
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Well, that’s the thing. You have to mean it.
