Itās too bad you could never say, lie about what happened. Like the kids jumping on the bed or you having to chase a bird around the room.
Iād use that money to hire a PI instead, itād be a lot cheaper and thereād be photos!
And what if they are cheating on the kitchen counter instead of the bedroom?
Well, obviously youād scatter these mattresses throughout the house.
A prime example of how to achieve something in the most expensive possible way. Former military contractor? How about this solution if you really need this particular āserviceā. An app for the old smartphone you have lying around that uses itās accelerometer. Stash it between the mattress & boxspring and check it when the coast is clear.
But if this is something youāre desperate for, either you already know somethingās up, or youāre a paranoid freak. Either way the relationship is doomed.
Or in the car, or on the floor?
Or in a box, or while wearing socks?
They should call it the āTempur-Tantric Matressā.
Iād be curious to know if there are any applications(seems like something a sleep study might be interested in, and once you have all the electrodes and the tech and so on, the marginal cost just wouldnāt seem so scary) that actually require the higher resolution accellerometer coverage; and this hoax and/or speculative attempt at cash in is using those in order to avoid having to do any real integration of their own or risk having a āproductā that looks like it was bodged together out of scrap parts; because it was.
< runs off to trademark āSmounter Topsā >
Or, the simpler approach might be to not profess to monogamous relationships, if thatās not what you do. People make things ridiculously complicated.
phone broken = adultery? and cracked only in less serious cases?
There are a few trackers out there that already do this - Eight and Beddit, for example, offer hardware sensors to track sleep. They donāt mention monitoring sexual activity, but I would guess it would be trivial to add those features.
Once youāve got the senors and the monitoring software, it would also be possible to create some very interesting IFTTT recipes; trigger some mood music, ordering a post-coital pizza, resupply of condoms after x number of rompsā¦
No. A smart mattress knows when to keep its mouth shut.
a Goldberg-esque contraption pressing the condom Dash button
ā¦but memory foam never forgets!
How about adding a nano-sized clamping mechanism to a Fitbit, jam it into a bit of cheese and Bobās your uncle?
Speaking of memory foam, I recently bought a cheapo memory foam mattress, and have been mulling over slicing some channels in it and outfitting it with refrigerant tubes.
I still have some kit left over from when I built a dry ice based āair conditionerā. Dry ice goes in a cooler outside, and I ran copper tubing into the house and in front of a fan, with an inline aquarium pump moving antifreeze.
So you made your bed, and now you canāt lie in it?
