Snappy coroner's answers to stupid cross-examiner's questions


#1

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#2

Great line! I’ve seen it before, does anybody have a source? Maybe court records?


#3

I have seen it before, but no sources. Here’s a link from all the way back in 2000, of someone asking on the snopes forums if these jokes are for real

http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=83;t=000024;p=0


#5

I know some snappy coroner’s answers are included in Richard Lederer’s Anguished English.

This one sounds familiar, although I may be thinking of this one:

Q: How many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All the autopsies I’ve performed have been on dead people.


#6

http://www.fsfla.org/~lxoliva/fun/digest/trial-questions

I believe these are about as genuine as the aircraft mechanic and air traffic control ones are.

http://www.f-16.net/aviation_jokes_article187.html

http://www.freemaninstitute.com/crewStatements.htm


#7

One of my favorites from years ago:

“There was a semen stain at the crime scene.”
“Was it male semen?”


#8

If we’re talking funny legal answers, I suggest watching this reenactment of actual events. And loweringthebar.net in general.

See also:








#9

Lowering the Bar (occasionally featured on BB) has more of this kind of courtroom humour.

Edit: woops, ninja’d by anneymarie :slight_smile:


#10

Nice links. This quote grabbed my attention:

Rothstein: No, no, it’s not that. I didn’t want to draw attention. You don’t want to have marijuana dealing from the middle of your law office because I was running a giant Ponzi scheme out of there.


#11

god dammit.


#12

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