So much for transparent aluminum


Originally published at:



Pity the safe isn’t made of transparent aluminium



So much for Kevlar


Keeping it weird.


What about the whales, man? What about the whales…

Fuck aluminum; there’s plenty of aluminum, but what about the whales?

P.S. Go ahead and light your lantern with my synovial fluid, you fucking jackhats…


Can’t wait for more!


Well i lol’d but stop dicking about and get cracking on cracking that safe!


Wait, are you saying I can or cannot have an invisible foil hat?


I think you already do, brother.

I wear a Tricorn, you?


It is kind of weird when you start thinking about it, isn’t it? Why would there be glass there? Would they not have perfected something stronger with similar optical properties?

Seems the only conclusion that can be drawn is that they use glass out of some sense of tradition, precisely because in dire moments, it can be counted on to shatter dramatically and into sharp pieces. Like, maybe there was some moment in Starfleet history when a captain managed to boldly save the life of his crew because he insisted on using a display cabinet that provided a handy improvised weapon.

…Okay, time to stop thinking about this now.


Obviously Scotty giving a 20th century industrialist the formula resulted in it becoming locked down by an indefinite patent on its molecular structure that allowed the patent’s holder’s to make it too exorbitant to legally replicate in the 24th century, limiting its use on government wessels to strictly essential purposes. Pirate ships are presumably rife with the stuff.


The novelization of the film laid in this little bit of time-altering: Scotty knew the history of Transparent Aluminium and that it seemed to come out of no where in the late 20th century. Once he traveled back in time, he realized he was the source of that and shared the formula to keep the future time line intact.



Little known (future) fact: A poisonous byproduct of the manufacturing process for transparent aluminum results in the decimation of large ocean-dwelling mammals. So inadvertently Scotty kept the timeline intact.




For that matter why put the captain’s model collection in a protective case at all? Did the cleaning staff from the Enterprise D just get tired of dusting them?


God bless the ghost writers, for they are tasked with resolving fridge logic.


Clearly, there must also be a minimum quantity of dust kept circulating for the purposes of Drama and Tradition.

(EDIT: Doh, video is borked, see here.)