Springy, brilliant (but expensive) nutcracker

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Works on all kinds of nuts!*

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To be precise, I think this is more of a nutthwacker.

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To really impress me, show it tackling a Brazil nut.

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** Guarantee valid only on nuts that fit within circumference of NutRing™.

This center-punch tool uses the same principle:

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Actually it’s available all over the net for $20 or €20, just the first two “spring nutcracker” hits from google:

https://www.red-dot-shop.com/en/Products/Households/260/Naomi-nutcracker

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My thought exactly. I usually break out an eight pound sledge. Walnuts? Even my rotten teeth could break those.

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I used to impress cousins by crushing walnuts from grandma’s tree in my hand. Never told them, only the dry ones work. :smile:

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While appearing safe, today’s youth will no doubt find numerous inventive ways to blacken fingernails, tips of tongues, and more! Wonder how far Naomi can propel a filbert?

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So you’ve moved on from bananas to nuts?

I guess that counts as progress.

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Now in TWO SIZES!

Introducing:

Naomi NutCracker with NuNutRing XXXL™, “For those extra-large, extra hard to crack nuts.”

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I predict total failure if pitted against Macadamias.

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That looks like it’d be an excellent glass breaker for the car.

I do honestly wonder how long before someone uses one of these for BDSM purposes, if they haven’t already.

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“One pound of mixed nuts and not too many coconuts, please.” is such an old joke it’s hardly even googleable.

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NEW!

Naomi NutCracker™with NuNutRing XXXL™, COCONUT EDITION™ “For those extra-large, extra hard to crack nuts and occasional coconuts.”

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The Boing Boingy Nutcracker?
BTW the most Boing Boing of all Nutcrackers has to be Mark Morris’ " The Hard Nut "
Lucky enough to work with Mark way back when. I think his Waltz of the Snowflakes using both male and female dancers is the best I have ever seen.
This is not your grand child’s Nutcracker!
Documentary short for the DVD special features of Mark Morris’ The Hard Nut

Yeah, I’d want something that can crack macadamia nuts.