StarFOX News


#21

#YAAAAWN

Well, that was a good cat-nap. Feasting upon too much feline always makes me drowsy. I appear to have slept through something, but it doesn’t seem to have been important. The Rumplicant had assured me that he had things square, and of course he came through bigly.

Get this, this motley crue is now giving each other nicknames. How…adrollable. I wonder if they would like mine? Probably not, but you will, my dear readers. I know you will. Let me know which ones you love the most on solar-media.

  • Hieronymoose "Bosch" Warnsforth
  • Brian "Lifeov"
  • Mark "Repeat" Watney
  • Galacto "Roadkill" Hardenhoof
  • Coccinea "Nanbot" Ornatus
  • Dottie "Dash"
  • Theodore "Bigly Smalls" Rump
  • Ester "8/9"
  • Omicron "Scrappy-Doo" Nu Pi, PhD
  • Vi "Comrade" Locke
  • Tom "Thomadore" Ratchetcrank
  • Browf "Coatrack" Clamphoof
  • Quirky "Quirky" Kumquat
  • Tex "All-Hat" Ass
  • Spike "Prick" Greenarm
  • Hans "Bisque" Landau

#22

#is this where I confess?

Dear MicrosoftXboxLiveJournal,

I admit, these space meese (speece) have some charms about them. Some are apparently as uninterested as I am in all the labor involved in collecting salvage. I wonder if he’s an undercover journo too?

Ohh wait, he’s into skat too? skeet skeet!

Then there’s also this fab four-footer who gifted me a…ahem…zine fit for gentleaquatics. Which may not or may have! had the most racy no-nets-attached classified section. Where I may or may not have met a most interesting artiste`


#23

#INTRODUCING - POLITICAL CARTOONS!!! YAY !!!11

Hello, friends.

I was recently, introduced, to a most astounding, and profound, and…blessed political artist, who wants to his works to appear in StarFOX news.

Ladies and gentleaquatics, I bring to you, Tom the Dancing Seal:


#24

#Gossip

So, then the lizard says to the puggo:

Can you BELIEVE this come-on? I mean, for a serial-killing-cold-blooded-mecha-hearted-lizard-who-leaves-the-most-vulnerable-and-wonderful-life-forms(potatoes) -on-Mars–for-550-sols-with-THATGUY, you gotta admit this is a very tender-hearted flirt.

It was so saccharine, I eye-rolled harder than I EVER have. For once, I am not lying.


Badass Dragon Scavengers of the Void - The Wreck of the Coleridge
#25

Hey, my latest issue’s late!


#26

#AND NOW: A WORD FROM OUR PUBLUSHER

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN DESIGNATED FAKE NEWS.

SHUT IT DOWN.


OOC: @codinghorror close thread please.


#27