Stuck for a D&D character to role-play? Here's one for you


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/08/16/stuck-for-a-dd-character-to-r.html


#2

They updated this since I saw it last.

PLUCKY HALF-ORC WARLOCK FROM THE IMPROBABLE PEAKS WHO BANGS ON ABOUT THEIR GENEALOGY TO EVERYONE


#3

I’m going to roll the stats for a fucking unstable Elf Paladin from an ancient monastery who is a recovering cannibal.

After setting camp for the night, I pull out a roasted Elf rump and start eating. My party notices this after I lose a saving throw, at which point I turn away from them and huddle over my horrific meal, crying and screaming, “Don’t look at me! Don’t fucking look at me!” I am suffering a relapse.


#4

I made up a Paladin who was overly zealous, and had a blood lust. It. Was. Awesome. Though I trusted the party implicitly, any NPC that I felt I was evil, I would try to kill. In battle I would hack apart the bodies and smear their blood all over me. I even tasted their blood like Santa Anna.

Eventually my god came to me in a dream and told me to stop it, then abandoned me and all of my Paladin feats were worthless. I was convinced that the evil god was masquerading as my god, and blocking my communication with her.

Good times.


#5

I’m going to roll the stats for a fucking plucky half-orc bard from an engineer’s guild who realised the importance of literacy far too late in life.

I… think I could play this.


#6

Damn it. Why the hell is

http://whothefuckismydndcharacter.com/

Blocked by our Proxy. Time to get out my phone


#7

An Impatient Elf Rogue from the North Plains who always keeps their promises

While Durothil tapped his foot and twirled his knife, his ale stood practically untouched.

He pushed daydreams of the high mountain plains of home from his mind - it would be some time before he saw them again - and scanned the wharves again.

But he heard him before he saw him. The tinny sound of his harp, the voice like gravel road. The crowd on the wharf began to part around a feathered plume and the figure underneath proceeded to walk up the hill to the cantina.

Durothil sighed, but a smile also played across his lips. Those had been dire days when he had been forced to call upon the assistance of that half-orc bastard. And while he sang too much, drank too much and worried too little - he could build a bridge. Both physically and emotionally. And when Durothil gave his word, he never thought he’d have to travel this far to keep it.


#8

So much character in so few words! Dang, now I’m all inspired for tomorrows pen-n-paper session!


#9

But would my character have clones? And would our playing make The Computer happy?


#10

Flirtatious Gnome Wizard from the long abandoned mines who has a twin that constantly impersonates them

Good heavens, that actually sounds like a character one of my D&D playing buddies would come up with. I forget which RPG it was but I once played a floating sentient cabbage.


#11

Trust No one


#12

How about:

MOROSE HALFLING CLERIC WHO WAS BITTEN BY A WEREWOLF AND TRIES TO DEVOUR THE PARTY EVERY FULL MOON BUT GIVEN HIS DIMINUTIVE SIZE LACKS THE JAW PRESSURE TO DO MORE THAN DELIVER HARMLESS NIPS AND BECOMES AN ADORABLE MASCOT.


#13

Ugh…Scrappy Doo just ruins the campaign


#14

“Guys, you have to put me in the cage during the full moon or I might kill you all!!”

“Sure we will (followed by slight giggling out of earshot)”


#15

The Computer is my friend.

Oh wait, wrong game


#16

“Grouchy Elf Wizard from an impure bloodline who was brought up to be a librarian”

SHHHHH!!


#17

It’s okay. These random character generators can cause…paranoia.


#18

Only communists know what is right and wrong.


#19

naive Dwarf Barbarian from the tower of bones who keeps a blacklist

@Boundegar is at the top of the list.


#20

:anguished: