Suicide Fairy


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Also discussed fairly extensively over in the .GIF bank thread.

The reverse version is much more chipper:

And the Michael Bay-ified version is also entertaining:


Nice draft on that chimney once it gets going.


The Suicide Fairy only grants one wish. . . .


Fenix Flue Fairy Formed of Fire.
fenix flue fairy formed fire


I’m clapping, Tinkerbell! Don’t die!


Tinkerbell Stormborn


They asked for it by not having a screen over their fireplace. Seems reckless even without considering the fate of the fairy. Looks like there’s plenty of stuff surrounding it that would just love to burn.


I came to this post from the BBS, so all I had to go on was the title.

I don’t know what I expected.


I’m confused. In the context of the living room, which way is ‘up the road’ and which way is ‘across the street’? That was an essential part of all the guidelines I’ve received on the subject.


Tinkerbell craves the sweet release of death. Are you going to be complicit in forcing her to endure being the NPC to a narcissistic-man-child’s wish fulfillment fantasies without end?

You monster. Even Captain Hook, the embodiment of Neverland evil, embraced finality-as-punishment rather than eternity-as-inevitability. If you believe in fairies, have the mercy to let them die!


The fairy might have survived, maybe a huge updraft shot her out of the top of the chimney, landing unburnt into Santa’s sleight, and then off to be gifted to another happy child.

But probably not.


I hate to see a kid sad over fun with toys turned semi-tragic, but this surprises me not at all. My daughter had one of these and they’re kind of a menace:

Aside from shutting them off completely, there’s no precise way to control them. Those wings are basically unprotected rotor blades which spin around the doll’s midsection. They’re on pivots and not incredibly hard, so risk of injury isn’t huge, but colliding with a human or a delicate object still isn’t ideal. And the dolls constantly crash into things, go too high or fly in odd directions.
I feared for the exposed sprinklers in our apartment until one of the many fine plastic internal components in the fairy got minutely out of shape from crashing around, and the thing ceased to work ever after.


I was expecting a wood-chipper. Imagine my disappoint.


Every year 100’s of fairy’s die in accidents just like this. When will we learn…


We lose more good fairies this way.


An open fire is a terrible way of heating a room. The warm air goes straight up the flue pulling in cold air from outside, which means the heating efficiency is below 20%. That it sucks in pink levitating fairies is just another reason why they should be banned, given that a decent enclosed stove is much safer and can be over 70% efficient.


The aesthetic contributes to a house’s property values in some places. And in those places the inefficiency is less of a hit to property values than the aesthetic value. Simple economics in a country with cheap fuel prices, and no strong incentives to green housing in any specific way. There are a lot of places where the inefficiency is a big problem.


The air immediately over the flames is quite slow moving, the faster air is higher up. In the video the fairy appears to fall into the fire as soon as it enters the relatively still air region. There may even be a turbulent region immediately above the flames where the hot air is mixing with the colder air from the room.

I know I’m a bit of a tedious nerd but I have installed - and deinstalled on safety grounds - stoves, and the air circulation around them is complicated. Stove installers don’t always get it right and the warm air ends up heating the room above. I take @LDoBe’s comment about aesthetics, but the engineer in me thinks there is nothing half so ugly as wasting energy because it is cheap. The hazards of open fires in particular - carbon monoxide, flue fires, igniting things in the room - should outweigh aesthetics. There are companies like Morso that make stoves that are attractive, safe and efficient. And they don’t kill the fairies.


Now, that’s great ad copy!