Supporting a son who wants to wear pink shoes



I don’t get what the big deal is. I suspect it’s subtle cues from parents who are worried that their kid will “not fit in”.
When our son was five, he loved wearing dresses (because his older sister did). We would let him dress (in drag, so to speak) and take him out to dinner. We had a secret chuckle when people would comment on our lovely girls. Now as a teenager he gets embarassed when the subject gets mentioned.

Just as we didn’t tell him he shouldn’t wear dresses (or pink) as a five year old, we don’t tell him what to wear as a teenager. I think as he got older the differences between boys and girls, especially in the context of our culture) became more apparent and he wants to “fit in”. His sister, on the other hand, does her best to “not fit in”. Sometimes it’s comical.

I will add that we had friends who told us a little boy should dress like a little boy and we were bad parents. We just laughed at them.


The history suggests that color as gender identity is pretty much arbitrary. Somewhere in the early twentieth century, pink was for boys and blue was for girls, though that wasn’t universal.
In the eighties, it was a Don Johnson thing, which I’d have more of a problem with.


I love that he refers to his little Goon. As my own little urchins grew I had such affectionate names for them. What a sweet time of life being a parent for goofy little human beings. Nothing yet in life has beat it. I wish the best for Todd and the Goon.


Here’s a similar story.

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In adult shoes, is there a significant difference in the construction of mens’ shoes vs. womens’? Sometimes I feel like I could totally rock a pair of womens’ running shoes, but I’ve held back worried about the technical differences. The new Newton Motion III limited edition, for example, shoes for ladies on the left, and shoes for boys on the right. I know which I prefer.

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I’m sure all of the kids on the bus would love it if the Goon’s pink shoes were rigged with whoopie cushions (classic rubber or electronic style) so he could make fart sounds with them on demand. I would have at that age, but maybe he wouldn’t be into that.


Yeah in hindsight, I had a girls backpack in High School. I just really liked teal.

I had a friend in college who was colorblind and would make rather “interesting” color choices. :smiley:

My boy is fond of the colour pink mostly because of influence from his older sister. He also loves soft toys and has quite a collection (again an influence from his sister). I think it’s cute - he’s unique and i love him for it. In fact i prefer it to him being a cookie cut product of society.

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Being fashionable means being able to shame and deride those who don’t follow arbitrary rules of dress, and have society at large totally back you up for doing so.

Fashion is an expression of society’s collective superiority complex - people are insecure, so to compensate for or conceal their insecurity, they invent reasons to dislike and abuse others for trivial reasons, and to convince themselves that they’re better than everyone else.

Not happy in life? That’s okay - you can smother your emptiness and despair in a thick coating of schadenfreude by finding completely insignificant differences between yourself and others and exploding them into grand delusions of worth and value!

Do you lay awake every night feeling lost, confused, hurt, alone, and angry? That’s okay! Some five year old boy you passed on the street was wearing pink shoes, and that let you feel good about yourself for being so very “fashionable” in comparison! In fact, you felt so good about yourself, you just had to make the young boy feel miserable about himself to maximize the contrast!

Remember - the more miserable you make other people, the happier you are in comparison!

Fashion! Because misery needs the help!


Running shoes/trainers/whatever have been steadily becoming more and more ridiculous for well over a decade. Those ones are pretty subdued really, compared to Nike’s output.

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I’m quite sad they don’t do the sneakers with sparkly lights or wheels in the heel in colossal size. Bloody kids get all the cool stuff.


Adult wheelies would be fantastic. Imagine how much fun shopping trolley-driving would be.


Ooooooh yes. It’s bad enough me driving one as it is. I’d be escorted from every supermarket in the state. :smiley:

Also, who wouldn’t want a pair of these:


My 5 year old son likes pink and some toys for girls (my little pony, for instance). We figure that he’ll probably grow out of it and may find this stage quite embarrassing when he gets older, so we don’t encourage it too much but don’t hold him back either. As far as we’re concerned, if he learns that gendering toys is bullshit and that it’s fine to enjoy toys designed for both/either/neither, it’s better than avoiding a bit of ridicule now. He has a pink and blue bike that he’s had some comments about from older boys, but we just ask him if he likes it (he does), then just say that he should enjoy it and that it’s none of the other boys’ business what he likes or doesn’t like.


That’s a really good example of the weird standards that apply to male/female stuff. Look at the heat bronies.

Good on ya. :smiley:

There are differences, but the match-up between what’s best for a person and sex is nothing like perfect. If you are in the size range where both men’s and women’s shoes are available, see which feels better. Men’s shoes are usually wider. This is most noticeable in the heel and toe box, and if men’s shoes seem to fit you well there, women’s shoe are likely to be too tight.

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Assuming you meant Heelys, today is a good day for you:

More on topic, my son likes wearing dresses and other girls clothing. I can’t say it’s the influence of his sister either, because he doesn’t have one. We’ve been supportive of it, and he now has girls clothes in his regular rotation, so today for example, he’s wearing a button up summer shirt (boy) and jean shorts with a pink fairy on it.

He has been teased about it in school, but we warned him it might happen, and coached him on what to say. The teachers have been supportive, and he’s getting through it more or less unscathed.

I have no idea where it’ll end up. Right now, I know that how he dresses is pretty damn low on the (very very long) list of things I constantly worry about as a parent. He’s happy, and that’s pretty high up on the same list.