Telsa's In-Car Gaming System Looks Kinda Meh

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This is not going to complicate traffic jams at all!


Something like 35 states directly prohibit this kind of screen where the driver can see it. How is this available?


Do you think a man who posts things like this nearly daily on social media is going to err on the side of caution?


Those laws apply to aftermarket entertainment systems, not screens used for the operation of the vehicle or navigation. The games are only accessible when the vehicle is in park.


it should have been Outrun or nothing at all…


That’d be really cool as a navigation system overlay.

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I’m going to choose to believe that Tesla just thought, “Whatever, throw it in, it doesn’t cost us any more than not doing it” rather that there’s drivers out there in the world who want to hang out in their parked cars playing bejeweled.

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I’d like to believe that in-car displays will eventually replace road-side billboards, but you know that ain’t gonna happen. Instead, here’s what will happen:

You’ll have your choice of viewing ads on your car’s display, while simultaneously having the option of viewing them on the side of the road. What’s more, you’ll get them on your phone, too! Also, those bone-conduction headphones are gonna make the ads sound really, really smooth all up in your noggin. Don’t even get me started about the in-cab hologram projections.

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The obvious solution is to take advantage of the substantial investment in computer-controlled electric car and use it as a haptic feedback peripheral for games.

No way is your ipad going to be able to capture the visceral thrills of GTA or Twisted Metal the way a couple hundred kilowatts of high torque electric motors will.

Yes, some killjoys will voice reservations about the ‘safety issues’ with this disruptive augmented reality experience; but Progress isn’t about appeasing the small minded.

I was going to try for a “Yo dog, I herd you like ads” reference; but that only supports a couple of levels of layered insertion, while our glorious cyberpunk dystopia will probably have ads the way nature has parasites: embedded in almost everything; at basically every scale; and as ingenious as they are insufferable and malignant.


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