Terabytes of data leaked from an oligarch-friendly offshore bank

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/11/19/2tb-and-counting.html

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Cowsay is one of the first “utilities” I install when I get handed a new machine.

fortune | cowsay

gets me through the day!

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I wonder if the IRS is allowed to use this data to collect back taxes from millionaires/billionaires? I’m going to guess no because it would be too inconvenient to the kind of people who own congressmen. They’ll probably use the excuse that they can’t trust the data because it’s coming from a hacker.

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oligarch-friendly Cayman bank

I feel like the first 2 or 3 words of this phrase are redundant.

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If I could, I’d drop an EMP on the Caymans, the Virgin Islands and Switzerland. Just evaporate all that stolen money, because fuck thieves.

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Best thing I’ve heard all day:

Subcowmandante Marcos

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I always wondered why there aren’t more attacks and theft from these places.

I have this daydream where I’m a FBI agent and some giant American corporation comes to me and says “10 billion dollars were stolen from out Caymans account” and I’d say “Sorry, that’s out of our jurisdiction”.

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You forgot London.

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Do they take requests? Can we get ExxonMobil, Shell, Koch Industries, Saudi Aramco, Chevron, Blackrock and friends added to the target list please?

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This is a heist movie begging to be made. A coordinated cyber attack, along with a physical invasion of one of those islands, could net more money than most law abiding people can easily imagine…

…but fuck the profit motive, I just want to watch the movie.

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Fuck the movie, I just want it to happen.

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I know of Emma Best from all her digging into Scientology. Good to see that she’s aiming other targets.

(Sometimes people would ask me why I spent so much time opposing Scientology, and I’d say “Practice! For all that Scientology is evil, hiring a hell of lot of lawyers, are pioneer leaders of abuse of the Internet, they really are small potatoes. Someday something really evil is going to come along, and we’d better be ready and have the tools to deal with them. Until then, Scientology is like live-fire practice for that day.” Too bad I didn’t realize that evil was already on the move.)

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Dang, wish I’d known about that a long time ago.

I don’t have much cause for Fortune these days; I make do with Funny Twitter. (Seems it’s good for something, though I am acutely aware that saying just about anything myself carries a decent risk of bringing fire and brimstone raining upon my head.)

I doubt there is much physical currency there, and their data is probably backed up in the cloud.

Anyway, the US would send gunboats to defend them (because freedom and democracy).

I just added that to the end of my .bashrc. Thanks!

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“A criminal investigation is ongoing,” the Cayman National Bank from the Isle of Man said in a statement.

Huh, the criminals are investigating. They’re also nested like Matryoshka dolls.

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An updated version of the Modesty Blaise book “Saber-Tooth” where a group of mercenaries plan to invade Kuwait, loot the banks while pretending to be freedom fighters, and then get out before anyone have time to react.

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