Texas board of education may reject Biology textbook because evolution is but a theory


#1

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#2

Pastafarians Mobilize!

http://sites.duke.edu/dialogues_monster/2011/12/06/the-birth-of-a-belief/


#3

Texas board of Education might want to introduce itself to antibiotic resistant bacteria. Or do they think that’s just a theory?


#4

FACT: There’s no way that natural selection alone can account for such a diverse number of species arising from the scant few that could have fit on Noah’s Ark. Check mate, evolutionists.


#5

There’s always the Lavabit approach: shut all the schools. Why should they be open anyways, if they’re forced to teach kids B.S. crap?


#6


#7

Ha! Love this a million times.


#8

Well as a Texan, I feel the need to apologize for the idiots of the state. Maybe this book can help call out the rest of the residents Stupid Texas: Idiots in the Lone star State.


#9

The sad thing is how many species we lost because they wouldn’t fit on the Ark. We could be riding dinosaurs now if Noah had just made it bigger. And let’s not forget unicorns. We’d still have those if Noah’s family hadn’t eaten them all.


#10

If it is your belief that the best method of determining meaning in the universe lies with faith rather than logic, doesn’t it strike you as odd that your criticism of evolution is that it is unscientific?


#11

Because homeschooling and charter schools are objectively worse.


#12

Doesn’t matter, because if they die in searing agony their survivors will wave it off as part of God’s plan. I’m told watching the organs of your loved ones melt into a pile of goo is great for developing faith.


#13

Not to mention the countless species lost right after. Carnivores need to eat, after all, and until the herbivores had time to reproduce every one that was taken down meant the extinction of its kind. Sure, the flood would have left vast quantities of water-logged corpses to help sustain them - remember how the raven “flew here and there” - but that’s not a good food source for very long.


#14

You win this round, Brainspore…


#15

Also, water logged corpses taste kinda nasty. Rumour has it the bacteria ignored the requirement to come in two by twos.


#17

I loath these particular pieces of drivel; but there are two party lines for situations like this (or aerobic citrate metabolism or ‘Nylonase’) (Why are there two? Jesus never said “Blessed are the intellectually consistent.” now did he?)

  1. “Microevolution” vs. “Macroevolution”. Well, yeah, those changes you pointed to and I can’t deny did occur; but that’s ‘Microevolution’ (and, just as a series of short steps cannot amount to a long journey… um…) ‘microevolution’ is different in both degree and kind from ‘Macroevolution’, which is an atheistic Darwinist fiction. Usually, this argument will be finished with a jaw-dropping non-sequitor of the “You’ve never seen a dog evolve into a cat, now have you?” or an inane argument from ‘irreducible complexity’, based on the compelling evidence that the person arguing ‘can’t imagine how an eye could evolve from microevolution!’

  2. “Previously present; but unused.” This one posits any evolutionary activity that it cannot ignore or explain away (eg. most of the fossil record, phylogenetics rather than ‘baraminology’, etc.) as a kind of Lamarkian RPG: Organisms don’t ‘evolve’ ‘novel traits’, they unlock god-given traits (which have always been present; but latent, none of your ‘umm, we sequenced the DNA from the first generation sample and it wasn’t there’ sonny!), like unlockable skills in an RPG character’s skill tree, which is eternal from the moment that character class was designed; but may express different parts of itself as the game goes on. A mangled account of epigenetics may be appended here, if the person blathering has heard of it.


#18

Not just rumor. It’s a fact. According to Mark Twain’s Letters From The Earth* one of Noah’s sons was full of hookworms, and after setting forth the family had to turn back and retrieve a fly that was carrying typhoid.

Also remember that Noah took only two of every unclean animal and seven of every clean one. They had to have something to eat, after all.

*If creationists get to claim a work of fiction is fact then so do I.


#19

A much better choice as well.
Twain is somewhat less preachy.


#20

No, but Jesus did say “Consistency is the hallmark of a petty mind”. And if he didn’t, he should have. Not that this is relevant to the point.


#21

Hey, man, Noah’s ark was already bigger than the largest wooden vessels made with 18th century British shipbuilding technology (so the biggest wooden boats ever reliably documented) which themselves weren’t particularly seaworthy (they were so big that torsion from waves would cause leaks). To suggest that he could have made it even bigger would start to strain credulity.*

*A little bit of sarcasm here, yes.