Pastafarians Mobilize!
http://sites.duke.edu/dialogues_monster/2011/12/06/the-birth-of-a-belief/
Texas board of Education might want to introduce itself to antibiotic resistant bacteria. Or do they think thatâs just a theory?
FACT: Thereâs no way that natural selection alone can account for such a diverse number of species arising from the scant few that could have fit on Noahâs Ark. Check mate, evolutionists.
Thereâs always the Lavabit approach: shut all the schools. Why should they be open anyways, if theyâre forced to teach kids B.S. crap?
Ha! Love this a million times.
Well as a Texan, I feel the need to apologize for the idiots of the state. Maybe this book can help call out the rest of the residents Stupid Texas: Idiots in the Lone star State.
The sad thing is how many species we lost because they wouldnât fit on the Ark. We could be riding dinosaurs now if Noah had just made it bigger. And letâs not forget unicorns. Weâd still have those if Noahâs family hadnât eaten them all.
If it is your belief that the best method of determining meaning in the universe lies with faith rather than logic, doesnât it strike you as odd that your criticism of evolution is that it is unscientific?
Because homeschooling and charter schools are objectively worse.
Doesnât matter, because if they die in searing agony their survivors will wave it off as part of Godâs plan. Iâm told watching the organs of your loved ones melt into a pile of goo is great for developing faith.
Not to mention the countless species lost right after. Carnivores need to eat, after all, and until the herbivores had time to reproduce every one that was taken down meant the extinction of its kind. Sure, the flood would have left vast quantities of water-logged corpses to help sustain them - remember how the raven âflew here and thereâ - but thatâs not a good food source for very long.
You win this round, BrainsporeâŚ
Also, water logged corpses taste kinda nasty. Rumour has it the bacteria ignored the requirement to come in two by twos.
I loath these particular pieces of drivel; but there are two party lines for situations like this (or aerobic citrate metabolism or âNylonaseâ) (Why are there two? Jesus never said âBlessed are the intellectually consistent.â now did he?)
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âMicroevolutionâ vs. âMacroevolutionâ. Well, yeah, those changes you pointed to and I canât deny did occur; but thatâs âMicroevolutionâ (and, just as a series of short steps cannot amount to a long journey⌠umâŚ) âmicroevolutionâ is different in both degree and kind from âMacroevolutionâ, which is an atheistic Darwinist fiction. Usually, this argument will be finished with a jaw-dropping non-sequitor of the âYouâve never seen a dog evolve into a cat, now have you?â or an inane argument from âirreducible complexityâ, based on the compelling evidence that the person arguing âcanât imagine how an eye could evolve from microevolution!â
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âPreviously present; but unused.â This one posits any evolutionary activity that it cannot ignore or explain away (eg. most of the fossil record, phylogenetics rather than âbaraminologyâ, etc.) as a kind of Lamarkian RPG: Organisms donât âevolveâ ânovel traitsâ, they unlock god-given traits (which have always been present; but latent, none of your âumm, we sequenced the DNA from the first generation sample and it wasnât thereâ sonny!), like unlockable skills in an RPG characterâs skill tree, which is eternal from the moment that character class was designed; but may express different parts of itself as the game goes on. A mangled account of epigenetics may be appended here, if the person blathering has heard of it.
Not just rumor. Itâs a fact. According to Mark Twainâs Letters From The Earth* one of Noahâs sons was full of hookworms, and after setting forth the family had to turn back and retrieve a fly that was carrying typhoid.
Also remember that Noah took only two of every unclean animal and seven of every clean one. They had to have something to eat, after all.
*If creationists get to claim a work of fiction is fact then so do I.
A much better choice as well.
Twain is somewhat less preachy.
No, but Jesus did say âConsistency is the hallmark of a petty mindâ. And if he didnât, he should have. Not that this is relevant to the point.
Hey, man, Noahâs ark was already bigger than the largest wooden vessels made with 18th century British shipbuilding technology (so the biggest wooden boats ever reliably documented) which themselves werenât particularly seaworthy (they were so big that torsion from waves would cause leaks). To suggest that he could have made it even bigger would start to strain credulity.*
*A little bit of sarcasm here, yes.
