Aside from the one doctor when I was in my early twenties, it was all women… All of them mothers.
The desperate way some of them pressed the matter, I sometimes wondered who they were actually trying to convince.
18 Likes
Themselves. Being a mother sucks, in part because of the utter lack of respect one gets (since respect is measured in dollars). I love my kid, she’s an amazing human being and I have zero regret in having her, but the reality is that it’s a tough job that almost no one thinks of as a form of labor (and in our society, that’s everything).
Progress is knowing that women aren’t brood mares, but fully realized human beings who aren’t just here for making new humans and pleasing men.
23 Likes
I count myself incredibly lucky because I haven’t been forced or browbeaten into it.
Between my mental health and the fact that I just plain don’t like kids under the age of around eight, it would not have gone well for me or any children. I always knew that I would make a bad parent (not dangerous to a kid, but not good for them, either) and there are enough fucked up kids out there whose parents weren’t suited for the job.
And it is a job. The pay sucks and the hours violate every labour law known to mankind (and it blows through a few workplace safety ones), but that doesn’t mean it isn’t work.
I respect mothers. I just have never wanted to be one.
16 Likes
Ain’t nothing wrong with that!
11 Likes
Isn’t that why taking the first breath is the traditional moment? That’s unambiguous and easy to observe.
4 Likes
My feeling is the same as dogs…
Some are pleasant enough, some are even enjoyable, but I sure as hell don’t want to be responsible for one.
9 Likes
it’s also a little mind-boggling that even doctors assume that women are going to want more children after they’ve had two or three or . . .
the daughter of a friend of ours went through three ob/gyns before she found a fourth one who would give her a tubal. she was 31 and had four children. one of them said he didn’t do tubals on women under 40, another one said he didn’t do tubals on women with a healthy uterus, the third one pointed out that even though she had four kids they were all girls and she would probably resent not being able to have a boy later. that third one was a woman. the fourth one said it would be no problem. he was willing to do the procedure on any woman older than 25 who had at least 2 children or documentation showing multiple miscarriages.
11 Likes
Yeah I thought I’d be in the clear after thirty but the tissue is healthy. In my case a pregnancy could be very dangerous and honestly likely to miscarry due to other health problems. But apparently that’s not enough to persuade a doctor that I figured out early I shouldn’t be anyone’s mother. Better fucking be enough if this shit passes though. I had docs for my cancer surgery try to cheer me up by telling me that while I’d probably need fertility treatments and a lot of monitoring, with enough money and medical assistance I might still be able to have children. I was like… K, so still have to be on BC gotcha…
14 Likes
That is really fucked up. We get lectures about patient autonomy all the time. I guess they might argue liability, like “I know I consented to have my uterus removed, and you told me that I couldn’t have kids afterward, but I didn’t know you meant, like, never.” But I find that argument pretty lame. Hell, considering what plastic surgeons will do to you for cosmetic reasons, this is just insane. But infantilization of females is not at all a new thing. Just an infuriating thing.
ETA: Not off topic, cause infantilization and control of females, and especially female reproductive systems is what this is all about!
12 Likes
It’s also no coincidence that a lot of women won’t even know that they are pregnant before that limit has passed.
I certainly didn’t.
12 Likes
That’s true. 6 weeks is a “huh, my period is a little late” to “completely normal for some people whose cycles aren’t regular”. My ex-gf had severe kidney issues because her mom didn’t know she was pregnant while on birth control. It isn’t like people who are trying to get pregnant who pee on a strip every opportunity they can.
5 Likes
Ending up as a Victorian ghost is straight up goals 
5 Likes
My Grandma: Miscarriages 4, live births 1
My Mother: Miscarriages 1, live births 5 (1 of those died within a day)
My Wife: Miscarriages 4, live births 1
My Daughter: Miscarriages 4, live births 0
My family is full of “criminals”
8 Likes
I hope they fucking do it. I DARE them to, because I think nearly all other states would issue travel bans, for starters. I expect a mass exodus of the populace, a net negative population growth rate, expensive lawsuits, and if they DARE charge even one person under the law, the public outrage would be deafening. No CEO would dare open a new facility in the state, and maybe even major sports leagues would put their weight behind undoing it. But Jesus fucking Christ, how fucking backwards could these assholes possibly be?
“Taking the first breath” is also theologically valid according to the creation story in Genesis.
2 Likes
That makes me think of the OHSA inspection of motherhood.
“You’re going to need to wear gloves and a respirator for this next task. Oh, dear God! No, don’t touch that! No, not that either! Slow down, I can only process violation paperwork so fast…”
ETA:
"That needs to be in a proper biohazard safety container. That bag should be labelled. This really is supposed to be in a fume hood.
Oh, hell, I give up."
11 Likes
I just want to say my condolences to your family. That is a lot of heartache. My spouse an I went through one miscarriage and it was not a great time.
7 Likes
Absolutely it does, and I say that as someone who also loves my kid beyond mesaure.
That’s always been my personal metric; if life ends with one’s “last breath,” then logically, it begins with the first one.
But therin lies the problem; logic isn’t ever a part of the mental equation, for many people.
20 Likes
So, you’ll just condemn all those women who – for one reason or another or many reasons – can’t leave?
Because that’s what you’re saying. Every time someone says “just let X region suffer”, they’re writing off people who had nothing to do with the problem and are more likely to be harmed as not worth fighting for.
Then those same someones wonder why those people they walked away from don’t trust those someones or turn out for causes promoted by those same someones.
13 Likes
Not really…
4 Likes
