She knew she didn’t know you. She was trying to pick you up, but got discouraged by your cluelessness. Perhaps if you had chatted about something rather than nothing things might have turned out differently. Unless of course you didn’t want to be picked up, in which case you handled it perfectly.
This is why I submit all new acquaintances to the terrors of the gom jabbar, just in case.
so you know they’re human, but not where you know them from.
Using this from now on.
I used to be terrified of this awkwardness. Then I noticed that almost everyone claims they’re terrible at remembering people.
So instead, I just own up to not remembering. It actually makes the other person more comfortable because I freed them from the awkwardness of admitting they don’t remember either. It turns into an ice-breaker.
All in all, since I’ve adopted this attitude, I’ve never felt embarrassed about forgetting someone, and instead I’ve gotten uncountable occasions where it was the start of a great conversation.
I just say, “I’m sorry, I think I’m having something of a Senior Moment - I’m pretty sure I know you, but I just can’t quite place you at the moment…”
That usually works well, no matter what the actual cause, whether they’re trying to pick you up OR trying NOT to be picked up.
And, on occasion, they’ve actually mistaken me for someone else. (And in one case, became a lifelong friend anyway).
Either which way, it leaves the unrecognized person their choice of graceful, reasonably face-saving exits, and generally gets sympathy even if you just plain forgot them. (-:
[quote=“jlargentaye, post:26, topic:104563”]
So instead, I just own up to not remembering.
[/quote]The major advantage to that technique is that it is the truth, which is a lot easier to remember than whatever lie gets rolling when you try to fake it.
I tell the truth not because of any moral superiority, but because I’m too lazy to keep track of the lies that not telling the truth requires that I keep organized. That, plus telling the truth tends to surprise and confuse people in some situations.
What if they tell you their (his/her) name and even that doesn’t work?
Five years or so after high school I was in a Safeway, and a guy with a huge black beard calls out my name. I turned and looked at him, and had zero reaction. I said something like “Hi…?” and he said "Don’t you remember me? It’s Mike!"
I responded with “Hi Mike. Uh, how’s it going?” Yeah, I’m lost.
He looks disappointed and says “Well I have to hurry off, I just thought it was worth saying something.” Me: "Ok… Take care Mike."
Ten minutes or so later my memory kicks in, and I realize this was one of my best friends in the 11th grade. Beardless, of course. I ran out to the parking lot, nobody in sight. Never saw that guy again
Well, you know, after the first few hundred…
I have sometimes greeted people I recognize like an old friend, only to realize a few minutes later it’s, say, the person who works at the cafe I visit.
And I’ll bet you made their day.
You might be surprised at:
A) How many people take conversations on the net so seriously that they actually decide that the other person with the different opinion is their “enemy.”
B) How many of those people I’ve pissed off just by being myself.
At least in that picture you look kinda happy… You just keep being you.
Me, I’ve never accidentally offended anyone in my life.
Thanks. That’s not me, but the advice is still good.
I cannot say the same; as just the fact that I exist at all “offends” some folks.
Oh well, must suck to be them, because:
Ladies Love Cool James; but we haven’t met, right?
They do, and it’s highly unlikely.
Besides, I just can’t pass up a ripe opportunity to post man-candy; it’s one of my joys in life.
Man-candy; big packets, lots of colours. Don’t take it from strangers.
The problem I run into more often is when I see someone, and I know that I know them, or have at least seen them regularly, somewhere else, but can’t remember where. Which I suppose isn’t as conversationally awkward, but it still bugs the shit out of me.
In my defense, it’s really hard to find IRL enemies! And life just isn’t dramatic enough without enemies. Ask anyone.
True, true…but @One_Brown_Mouse did say enemies. I’m even choosier about my enemies than my friends, and I’m very choosy about my friends. Granted some individuals may imagine they’re my enemy, as their actual station of nuisance is less flattering to their fragile egos.
Enemy mine has the highest standards of any relationship because it implies I’ll spend time on them. And I’m much less likely to spend time on someone I loathe than anyone I like.
I thought I recognized somebody who works at a cafe yesterday, like maybe she was a friend of a friend or maybe she used to work someplace else.
But actually no, she looked familiar because she looks a lot like Scarlett Johansson.