Originally published at: Do you have a Black friend? Watch how white people say yes, but then can't remember the "friend's" name | Boing Boing
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at the risk of sounding stereotypically white, i’ve got 25 african-american facebook friends, and i can name them all, additionally i’ve got at least 12 others who aren’t on facebook and i can name all of them, and this doesn’t count my daughter-in-law, her mother and sisters, nor does it count my two biracial grandsons. of course, i may not be typical. it’s a shame that i’m not.
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To be fair, while I have several black friends, it might take me a moment to think of their names if put on the spot. I don’t think of them as my “black friends,” they’re just my friends, so it’s not like they’re categorized in to a readily accessible bucket in my mind. Of course, some of these people could definitely be lying, I’m just saying it’s a little unfair to jump to conclusions
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Interviewer: “Do you have any black friends?”
Me: “No. I don’t have any friends.”
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I think I may hesitate a bit before listing off the names of my friends of color on national television to prove I’m not racist. That would be pretty gross.
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Agreed, although that’s probably not the cause for hesitation for most of the people in the video.
Generally I would just decline to be interviewed in the first place but if I was put in the spot and had the presence of mind to give a coherent answer* I would probably say something to the effect that I’d rather not call out my friends publicly.
*big caveat
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Joke’s on you, I don’t have any black friends. But I also forget the names of people I work with since at least ten years, unless I share an office with them. Some of them are just “the woman with hair” or “the guy in statistics”.
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Life is unfair.
Especially if one happens to be a POC… or a woman. Or LGBTQ+. Or disabled. Or…
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this would be me…umm…no…but not because i am racist…i just a 46 year old married person living through a pandemic. i have NO friends. my kids have black friends. so…there is that.
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I would probably say yes and when asked their names would start to question if any of the black people I know would really consider me a friend and whether I really consider them a friend or if they’re just an acquaintance etc? Like, I absolutely do not have any close black friends. But there are plenty of people of all races that if talking about them I would say “a friend of mine…” but if pressed on that I might downgrade to “a person I know”
The better question might be whether any of the Black folks that you know consider you their friend.
The answer might not be the one you expect.
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blahblahblah blahblahblahblah blahblah . . .
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Exactly my response. When growing up, my old neighborhood in Oakland represented the whole spectrum, none of which I ever considered any race - they were just my friends. It’s only in hindsight that I look back and can see how diverse we were.
It wasn’t until I entered the military that I was really exposed to blatant and open racism. I had always experienced some directed at me on occasion (Asian), but I had never seen it directed at others with such bitterness - it was eye opening.
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Lotta presumably white folks jumping in here to basically say Wait a minute, I’m not racist!
Not unlike those who point to their (supposed) black friend as (supposed) proof of that.
Funny how that works.
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I sense that this topic is only going to end up vexing me.
That so many people of privilege consider themselves ‘color blind’ is such self placating BS - if asked to describe their so called friends physically, they would not be ‘unable’ to do so.
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What if I don’t have any friends? Am I non-racist then?
Nope. Being antisocial isn’t the same thing as being antiracist.
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Identifying somebody by first name is not really “calling them out” unless they have a particularly unique first name.
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Don’t be silly; EVERYTHING is about them, always.
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