The "Creepiest Mustard Commercial in Recorded Human History" makes me want my mommy

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Originally published at: The "Creepiest Mustard Commercial in Recorded Human History" makes me want my mommy | Boing Boing

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for real seriously GIF

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Sometimes Omega Mart just takes it too far.

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What The Fuck Wtf GIF

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I dunno. I’m much more afraid of French’s mustard than that clown. Give me Dijon or give me death!

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Avast, belay that yellow sauce, I will be dining with Spicy Brown tonight!

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Clean up on aisle 3.

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Stadium/Ballpark tops Dijon.

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Another one from the same voiceover artiste, this one I can’t believe is a real toy but I completely believe the list of possible side effect listed

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This is absolutely not a real ad for Hellmann’s. Alas.

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If, as in this case, we’re allowed to add our own voice-over to an existing commercial, seems like it would be pretty easy to be a lot creepier than that. I mean, at no point does the clown even imply that the child and/or her family will end up in the hot-dogs or mustard. Missed opportunity there.

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image

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I’ve had a life-long aversion to mustard, with a special loathing for French’s. (And I’m none too crazy about clowns, either.) I always figured my aunt must have given Toddler Me a mustard and (spoiled) bologna sandwich and Toddler Me hurled it back up, burning that awful taste in my mind forever.

But perhaps I simply saw this commercial at an impressionable, tender age?

The world may never care.

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Mustard Gas
Mustard Gas846×602 138 KB

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I wonder what the real dub of the comercial is like.

Also Bautzener Senf is the best mustard.

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The added voiceover wasn’t necessary. Aside from that, I’m curious what year the original commercial is from. I’m guessing 1950’s? Clowns seemed to be fairly normalized back then. I’m curious at which point they really started being used as horror tropes–at the very least when Stephen King published IT, but maybe there are some earlier examples. (Off to Google I go…)

Edit: Ah. John Wayne Gacy, 1978. Forgot about that.

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1961, apparently.

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I can totally place the narrator, too. I just can’t remember his name.

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William Schallert?

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Sounds like him somewhat, although I just did some comparisons with other Schallert voice work, and this guy gets a bit more high pitched to show enthusiasm.

For comparison, here’s Schallert:

ETA: It’s this fellow, Mason (with a name like Smuckers) Adams:

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