The euphemisms news reporters use when a sports figure injures his penis and testicles

I am nonplussed to discover that “the nards” isn’t on the list!

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Sometimes a cigar just isn’t a cigar.

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Someday we’ll be a grown up culture!

Maybe then we won’t be afraid of naming the source of all human life.

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(with apologies for the hilariously misspelled lyrics, this is quite the collection of names:)

I feel disappointed in myself for not thinking of this sooner.

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