The most disturbing horror film of the season is Peloton's new commercial

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The problem I see is, as things progress, the bulk of us have less and less gold for them to mine. It’s all a mess. I’m working at a digital marketing company, and as I was reading it I was thinking, “I hope my boss doesn’t read this.” I already feel like everything we do – and especially I do – is utterly pointless, apart from collecting a paycheck to pay down debt.

But I also don’t think it’s a bubble that will pop on its own at any point, and didn’t feel like the article did much to support that idea. Instead, everyone involved is committed to keep this ball rolling, and anything pointing out it should be otherwise is treated like plutonium.

The ritual sacrifice?

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A devastatingly funny screed on Twitter by “Clue Heywood” (no idea who that is, but clearly is hilarious) that just takes this to its logical extreme–strongly recommended if you need a laugh:

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This is a good companion piece for Melania’s Xmas video. Shiny, hard-surfaced and understated dread seems to be the motif for the 2019 holiday season.

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So essentially peloton believes their target market is meek women that need the approval from husbands, trainers, and social media to be happy?

I don’t understand how empathetic creatives cope with their decision to work in marketing.

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I’m guessing money has something to do with it?

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Getting an exercise machine is no guarantee you will actually use it.

People who want to exercise will exercise, machine or not.

And if I were going to use an exercise bike I would probably just watch regular TV rather than have some stranger urge me to pedal faster.

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Slusho! For that perfect post-workout recovery! “You can’t drink just six!”

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Yeah, things are so farcical and threatening in the US this year that I was really looking forward to burying my head in the Holidays starting last week, but it’s just not working. Yesterday I got so bent out of shape with our former ambassador to Nato that I almost broke the drier.

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That made her seem like she was a complete moron or really insecure. She was afraid of what: learning how to pedal a stationary bike? Children the age of 7 can learn to ride an actual bike.

Or maybe she was afraid that she was really out of shape and that she would be mocked for it which contributes to the horror-like feel of the advertisement. Either way, very off-putting.

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This is clearly targeted to harbinger households.

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The best part of where they put those bikes is that anyone who has done “proper” turbo trainer work will tell you two things…

1: You will want industrial fans pointing at you.
2: You will cover everything nearby in sweat.

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Tagline: For Some, The Word HOME means the same as PRISON.

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This is what it looks like when Quitters inc. from the Stephen King story, branches out into weight loss programs.

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O.M.G.
Also I see now why that rug is rolled up and out the way.

Good heavens, how does one wipe the bike down?
I get it that it’s simple to mop the floor… but the bike is also covered in sweat too, right?

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You don’t… as a general rule. You can get things called “bike thongs”, but most people tend to live without them.

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If the husband in this video thinks his wife is too fat, perhaps he should have started his search for a life mate among his town’s heroin addicts.

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There’s a McSweeney’s for everything:

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I think the parody should be the primary boingboing link and not the original Peleton ad.

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THANK YOU! I thought the same thing as I was watching this.

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