The Pinkertons' plan for climate change: a mercenary army that guards one-percenters as the seas rise

thatswhat

for fans of the Letterkennys looking for this sweet greeting card, I found it over heres:

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That was such a fucking depressing read. Not that I didn’t know that the world was one of cynicism and greed, but FUUUUUUUUUCK. It’s one thing to panic and circle the wagons, acting immorally to protect your own against a sudden, unexpected disaster, but to see it coming DECADES away, and sitting on top of billions in a C-Suite, still the best idea you can come up with to cope with an uncertain future is not to help prepare the world and prevent the next dark age, but ether to spend millions preparing yourself, psychologically and physically to murder vulnerable people to protect capital. It makes me want to cry for my daughters, and the fact that they won’t even get to enjoy the illusion of increasing peace and understanding I had the luxury of coming of age in the 80s and 90s. So long and thanks for all the fish, I guess. (apologies to @Melz2 for my defeattitude, I’ll rally in the next thread… )

The fact that they still just go ahead and call it Pinkertons is just another reminder that every story I grew up with where I thought it was crystal clear who the good guys and bad guys were (and that everyone was on board with the same categories) had another side. Who knew* a deep and abiding love of war profiteering, anti-poor/labor violence, racism and sexism had but the sheerest veil lain on them for 30 years.

*Well, yeah, I know, I know…

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Quick question: where are the mercenaries going to spend the money they are paid to guard the rich? The rich really need to understand they are at the top of a pyramid, and without the masses there is nothing to be the top of.

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probably at the company store owned by their employers, conveniently located next to their company shanties.

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Easy, they only stay employed while money can still be spent, then kill their bosses and keep all the stuff their employers had.

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Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was thinking. Rich people who have never been hungry probably drastically overestimate money’s ability to keep hungry people in line.

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Yes:
49. Every client is one missed payment away from becoming a target and every target is one bribe away from becoming a client.

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“I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half”

– Jay Gould

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perhaps they won’t need to rely on humans for long https://youtu.be/vEXscIqx1Ec

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i’m glad that at least you two are optimistic about how this plays out.

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I volunteer to guard Peter Thiel!

Well here I am to work, gee, this place is great. So as your new security advisor sir, I just want to ask you some questions, if you thought someone was going to kill you in a horrible way and then eat your physical remains, is there some place you would really be likely to hide?

Oh this, it’s my luck spoon, I carry it with me wherever I go.

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But is it a tactical spork?

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a mercenary army that guards one-percenters as the seas rise

Isn’t that the plot of Oath of Fealty by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle, (1981)?
Oath of Fealty – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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And that, my friends, is how the story ends. Warlords reigning over the ashes. Sad end for Homo sap.

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Meh, we’ve had dark ages before. A few centuries and everything is fine.

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A better question: how long before the mercenaries start asking for huge raises . . . or else?

“We need to hire another group of mercenaries to keep the Pinkertons in check!”

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I find it almost touchingly naive that the ultra-rich think their mercenaries will continue to protect them in the event of social collapse. The first time Uncle Moneybags’ check doesn’t clear (or money itself becomes worthless) he’ll find himself tossed into the moat while his biggest bodyguard moves into the master bedroom.

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That’s if the masses haven’t barricaded in everyone on Uncle Moneybags’ premises, and cut the remaining power source.

Bizzarely, they seem to think keeping people out will be the only concern.

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Localised dark ages where the rest of the world keeps functioning. This time we’re going for the big one.

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I wuv this, ima steal it! :heart_eyes:

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