This is the first use I’ve found for bookmarks 
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Here’s a jokey situation, one from real-life actually: We had a technician at our lab. Call him Bob. He was disgusting, known for lecherously groaning whenever he saw a pretty woman amongst us; quite audible too. He also hoarded equipment and tools “borrowed” from work, a practice that eventually caught up with him and earned him a request that he quit. He did. Anyway, one day a couple of us were in his work area. Bob happened to be in the process of installing a PCB into some electronic analyzer or whatever. The PCB came protected in ESD bubble wrap. Bob had already grounded himself and had the wrapped PCB on an ESD safe mat and was removing the PCB from its wrapping. We moved in much closer for a look. Then he waxed on the gravitas of the event.
Bob: “Never handled by human hands.”
Me: “Still the case.”
Bob: “Oh, maaaannn!”
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I was on a trip, about to do my first long-distance hike through the backcountry. My partner and I were in a bar the day we were to head out, and I confessed my anxiousness about the hike.
A man came up to us and said, “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. I’ve taken many trips as you describe, and I wanted to tell you that you have nothing to worry about.
Any seasoned traveler knows: always carry a length of fiber optic cable in your backpack.
No matter how lost you are, or how far from civilization, if you ever become truly desperate, all you have to do is bury that length of cable in the ground. Within an hour, some jackass in a backhoe will be by to dig it up, and you can catch a ride with them back to town.”
(inspired by @anon87143080, with apologies)
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It was my son’s 4th birthday today.
All spruced up he was, spick and span, I hardly recognised him.
It was as if I’d never seen him befour.
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Has he told you the one yet about why 6 is afraid of 7?
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Ooh, I don’t know the answer. Just know I’m gonna 8 it.
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Because 7 8 9.
I didn’t say it’s a good one!
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OMG, I’m so mathphobic that I could barely finish that! 
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Cannabalistic Mathematical Jokes are always good to share.
Pass the BBQ sauce!
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