The saddest cookbook ever written

Microwaves are loathesome objects; you cook food by putting fire underneath it.


After our fourth child my wife said she wanted another one. I bought a used microwave, hid it in the garage, and rigged it to work with the door open. I’d go out every night and tea-bag the thing on “low” for 20 seconds. It rendered me infertile in just a few days.


The risk with that is that if it is a low-power microwave you end up with energized super-sperm that produce mutant children with uncanny powers.


For what it’s worth, I believe The New York Times published The Microwave Gourmet, which is a decent argument for microwave ovens being Genuinely Useful Objects.

My favorite example from that book: Mussels microwave.

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Dugg for the Digg reference!!!

I would seriously rather cook over Sterno.

The only real risk from non-ionizing microwave radiation is that you inadvertently cook your balls.

I, sir, choose to live in a universe with comic book superhero physics.

Good day to you!


De gustibus. I will cook over, under, or in whatever produces the desired result. No one tool is best for all tasks, and with many tools it’s a matter of knowing what they can and can’t do and how to work with them rather than fighting them.

As one of the tools in a kitchen, microwave ovens are fine things. Doesn’t mean they’re always the right choice even for the things they do well – microwave cooking does scale differently. But we don’t hold anything else to that standard either. I don’t usually bake potatoes on the stovetop or boil pasta in the oven, though both are theoretically possible.

The best tool is the one that best fits your needs (and preferences) for the task at hand, among those you have available.


Hipsters never do anything, above all think, on their own.

The shitty cover design says it all this is the sort of book only the chronically depressed and lacking in even the most basic taste would buy!

Some folks clearly haven’t heard the phrase “can’t judge a book by its cover”.

Maybe that explains the argument about “content” in the other… what are we calling these, anyway? Topic? Thread? Stream? Conversation? Thunk?

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Fair do’s, but you still cook Proper Dinner with fire.

That is pretty bog-standard 80s cookery-book design. Seriously, they all looked like that (hell, most of 'em looked worse).


This book is sad because it illustrates the poster’s belief that unmarried people live lonely, empty lives. Real people have children.


You realise microwaves cook without adding carcinogens to your food?


@stefanjones word

PS: Where else have I seen this? It was someone else on the intertubes recently.

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Dude… what… the fuck… is that? Who is that site serving?

Don’t they know that all the things being suggested are measurable with items that should already be in your kitchen?

“Why don’t they make, like… a measuring cup so I can tell what half a cup is?”

Is disdaining microwaves the new “I don’t have a TV”? Honestly, I suspect that people who don’t use microwaves either eat out a lot or have a stay-at-home spouse who can slave away at the stove for hours each day. I’d say the two most useful things in my kitchen are my microwave and my rice cooker.


Nope. I’ve never had one. I hate 'em. I cook all the time, always have, but I know that’s not as easy in the States by the sound of things. The TV is broken though…