The Snotty Chef


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/11/22/the-snotty-chef.html


#2

What a waste of resources. What’s wrong with cracking an egg and using your fingers to separate the yolk. I probably doesn’t work that well either.


#3

What happens if you put this in it?


#4

Style points.


#5

For that matter, the Mona Lisa is a waste of resources. She doesn’t make the wall any stronger, and you don’t really need a lady’s face painted there anyway.


#6

Thumbs up on the idea, but it looks like it doesn’t actually work that well. You could gross guests out by drinking eggnog through the nostrils, I guess.


#7

Previously:


#8

I use the bulb of a turkey baster. Easy!


#9

Mona Lisa? I’m sure that does not equate in any way.


#10

Nonsense. Leonardo da Vinci really was a brilliant engineer who did a bit of painting as a side line. Pages 57 to 61 of the Codex Trivulzianus explicitly deal with the integration of paintings into the structural design of buildings in order to make them resistant against meteor strikes.
And thats not all; recent field tests by the Institute of Studies have shown that hus murals can deflect tachyons.


#11

The eggshell makes a handy separator without any need to get your fingers in the eggwhite.


#12

You beat me to it.


#13

#14

The fingers work a bit better and are less likely to puncture the yolk.


#15

Aha - just what this thread needs - a discussion of the relative merits of egg separation methods :slight_smile:

I don’t see any greater risk in the egg-shell method I advocate.

I suppose like any good debate we first need to define our terms.

My proposal is to crack the egg and open it up into two half shells (little end and big end). The yolk and egg whites sit in one of these (I have no religious or cultural preference for one over the other - although unscientifically I prefer the yolk to start in the ‘big end’).

Separation is achieved by pouring the yolk from one half of the egg into the other and allowing the whites to fall into a bowl or cup placed beneath the egg halves as one pours.

Since it is trivial to pour in such a fashion as to avoid puncturing the egg yolk on any pointy bits on the shell halves and also keep egg whites from contact with the fingers, I assert that this method is superior to any method that involves getting one’s fingers in contact with either yolk or whites.

If one is feeling particularly fancy one can also add a surprising amount of ‘flair’ to the pouring process although domestic harmony will probably be greater if this is omitted.


#16

I point a Colt 45 at my eggs and instruct them to separate themselves. They soon comply.


#17

Using ones fingers takes pretty much a single motion. You simply crack the egg into your hand and shake a bit. Or into a bowl and scoop your fingers under the egg and lift. Using the shells requires you to carefully pour the egg back and forth, often shaking when you’ve got fresh tenacious whites. And the chance of puncturing it with a jagged shell is not trivial. Particularly with fresh, quality eggs that have thicker shells. Or the organic/free range ones that tend to have a very thick membrane inside (I believe this is just a function of the breed). Egg yolks are delicate. Even a cleanly broken, non jagged shell is enough to pop it if it catches as your pour back and forth. You can break them simply by handling them too rough with the fingers or pouring them into a bowl too aggressively. Go separate a few dozen eggs in a row, using the shells you’ll break plenty of yolks.

The only downside to using your hands is getting egg on them. Its quicker. Its more efficient. Its more precise, you have more control over it and its pretty damn easy to give a thick white a quick pull if it won’t release on its own. And so what about eggs on your hand. If your going to cook you will get food on you. If you’d prefer not to that’s what they make gloves for.


#18

Is there nothing it cannot do?


#19

I totally disagree. I think that a DRM-protected, network-connected, artificial-intelligence-powered, gold-plated, $1K-a-pop appliance would be a much better solution. Of course, it would only use proprietary egg pouches in which the egg has been already separated. It would save us so much time! No touching eggs like the peasants! We should create a kickstarter proposal for this. :smiley:


#20

If I can’t recombine the yolk and white, on demand, via blue tooth can I really say I’m cooking.

We’re not animals here.