The Soviet Union came perilously close to launching a nuclear strike on the U.S. in 1983

Deluded fundy dipshits with guns vs global superpowers that can drop miniture suns on your head.

Your move fear-mongers.

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I want the instasuns back. Together with less annoying flight ā€œsecurityā€ and less overall surveillance.

Today’s threats are more annoying in side effects and less classy than the old ones used to be.

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I’ll just drop this bombshell.

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These tactical nuclear demolition toys are pretty. Nice show of a linear implosion in a convenient backpack-sized package. Less efficient in boom per pound of plutonium than their bigger siblings so a bit of wasteful, but, gods, how cute and tiny they can be!

…and, of course, because the stupid test ban, they are less safe than they could be as there aren’t single-point detonation tests that’d rule out achieving significant yield with wrongly timed or one-side-only implosion…

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OR DID YOU!!!

Now I’ve started thinking about it, it seems even more obvious that this would never have happened. States have long been able to assassinate each others’ leaders, but they never do, because they don’t want it to happen to them. They have the ability to cut the handful of fragile undersea cables that make the internet work, but they don’t, because they don’t want it to happen to them. And yet we’re supposed to believe they’d have extinguished all life, at the price of that happening to them?

Also: Russia and America are still there; they still have a fuck-ton of nucular boms; and by this time next year they could both be led by openly evil insane people. So how come Nucular Ermagerdn was such a huge threat then, if no one gives a shit now?

EVERYTHING IS A LIE AND ALWAYS WAS

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You mean, the cake is, too? :open_mouth:

If everything is a lie… furrows brow… Then this… Must… Be too!!!

#PANIC!!!

In the mean time Shadd the Rad Drag(on) and I are gonna be doing a little civil engineering.

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Also, with no test ban people could’ve been beavering away at various designs of fusion-only bomb, and we could have cheap, lightweight, fallout-free WMDs that could be used without undue strain on the conscience or the wallet.

Triple bah!

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Neutron bombs are both cool and psychotic. You kill everything, but get to keep the infrastructure.

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I don’t like that graph - the volume makes the Tzar Bomba look 16x more destructive than the Bravo, not 4x more destructive.

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And possibly have fusion power, and terraform-grade clean explosives. PLOWSHARE, without the dirt.

The Tzar Bomba laughs at your petty capitalist propaganda.

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Congrats on rediscovering MAD 140 years later…

ā€œI begin to believe in only one civilizing influence—the discovery one of these days of a destructive agent so terrible that War shall mean annihilation and men’s fears will force them to keep the peace.ā€ ~ Wilkie Collins

http://wilkiecollinssociety.org/newsletter-spring-2009/

Of course whole countries no longer exist because of WWII. No matter how insane, it takes only one successful conspiracy. If nations really thought it was completely impossible, they wouldn’t have placed such paranoid security around their own country launching. It’s improbable, but over a long enough time or the right circumstances, the improbable can still happen. With nuclear war, it only had to happen once and that was endgame.

Edited because I’ve been needlessly snarky of late, and there no place for that in a friendly discussion about nuclear armageddon.

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Wait a second

Edit

 

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Cool. Can you open for my next synth metal project, Fast Neutron Therapy?

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Sadly, Tsar Bomba blew his top out of the stratosphere and flatlanders laughed at his mushroom cloud.

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Certainly!! Gotta warn ya though, we only know one song.

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Noone laughs at Bomba!! Noooonnneeee!!!

Last song they’ll ever hear…

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Alternative lyrics I wrote after the Shuttle had a series of takeoff aborts.

We’re boarding together
The proud shuttle crew
We doubt we will take off
We’re all feeling blue
I guess it’s the budget to blame
We’re stuck aground (stuck aground)
Will we ever get up there again?
It’s the final countdown…
The final countdown
Again…

Somebody should resign
'Cause we’re still down here
Next time we should design
Some less complex gear
With so many cables to fray
And leaks to be found (to be found)
I’m sure that we won’t launch today
It’s the final countdown…
The final countdown
The final countdown
Oh no.

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