The story of Don the talking dog


Originally published at:


Sure dogs can talk. They just don’t have much to say.


OK, cue all the talking dog jokes.

“So Don, what’s it like being a dog?”



He wasn’t howling. He was saying, “Bruuuuuuuce!”




Don spoke German, or at least 8 words of it

That’s about all you get out of me too.



(Video is cued.)


I’ve had great conversations with every dog I’ve known.


Fer sure, me too. And they’re often such good listeners!


Pff, my dog can say “I love lasagna.”


I think that’s what worries most owners of talking dogs, though…




Well… here’s proof of German at least


I’ve dogsat for two different families, with two different breeds of dogs (Brown Lab & an Anatolian Shepherd) who both ‘moaned’ a LOT. The dogs were having whole conversations with me, but who knows what they tried to communicate. I tried and tried to teach the Lab to say ‘keine Ahnung’, which is (bad) German for ‘no idea’ *. I thought it would be hilarious to have a dog that could answer their owner when the owner was interrogating the dog:
Owner: “Who chewed up the paper?”
Dog: “Keine Ahnung.”
Owner: “Did you pee behind the couch?”
Dog: “Keine Ahnung.”

See how much fun that could be? The reason I chose that phrase is because both dogs already kinda sounded like they were saying it. Unfortunately, I was only around them for a week or so at a time, and was unable to refine their enunciation.

*Being a third generation American, the only other German I picked up from the superannuated relatives were ‘stinky cheese’, ‘snow’, and about 6 different words for ‘penis’.


“Keine Ahnung” is quite okay, especially in a non-formal setting.


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