The Way of the Shadow Wolves, a novel by Steven Seagal


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/12/21/the-way-of-the-shadow-wolves.html


#2

I shudder to think of how awful it is.

ETA screen scrape for posterity…

ETA more…
I actually tired to read that snippet. Wow even Shatner could get a better ghost writer than that.


#3

So I guess the cover image is there to let us know that even though the main character is a tall, lean, classically-chiseled Native America man named John Gode he will be portrayed in the imaginary film adaptation by Steven Seagal?


#4

That second sentence there is most of the win. Not all of it. Just…most of it. As though the win were a thing that could be divided, unlike the night, which cannot be broken. America.


#5

Wait. Stevan Seagal can read?!


#6


#7

“with a cover that looks like a photoshopped parody of itself.”

Wait, it isn’t?
/reads blurbs and extract
Wait, it isn’t?
/re-reads blurbs and extract
No, I’m pretty sure this is an elaborate parody. It… must be.

Questionable. I’m guessing a ghost writer - in the sense that he had someone else, who wasn’t a professional writer, but could read, write it for him. Possibly he dictated. Actually that seems most likely.

@Melizmatic


#8


#9

Is Seagal doing Chuck Tingle parodies now? Does he get banged in his “deep state” by his own ponytail?


#10

Did his buddy Putin give him a cover blurb to go along with the passport?


#11

Too pudgy to be confused with this:


#12

The curse of literary criticism - you get something wrong yourself:

His name is spelt Steven, not Stevan


#13

“It was a dark and stormy shite…”

@writebastard, I managed to make it though to the end of the paragraph and was truly stunned by the quality of the writing.


#14

He seems to be carrying a gun on the cover photo. I wonder if that’s a first for a book on politics? Maybe he should have picked up a pen at some point.

FOREWORD BY SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO

Yeah that figures. I also hear there’s a children’s book in the works which is co authored by Roy Moore.


#15

It is interesting the protagonist is named “Gode”. It tells us the author attended the first day of Fiction Writing 101. The rest of this extract tells us he dropped the course shorty after.


#16

https://youtu.be/jMbcZJ2ZvYg?t=4s


#17

burningcouch


#18

man book wtf out window


#19

My how the Russian novel has fallen.


#20

Idiot-Seagal