The wonderworld of Oracolarium

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I’ve looked in my future, and I couldn’t see myself buying this.


Blah Blah Boing Boing Bling.
Get back to us when you have an Anthropomancy kit.

See, the thing with oracle kits for sale, is that if you had an oracle kit that worked, you wouldn’t need to be flogging it on the Boing, you’d be too busy at the horse races or Vegas or Wall Street or some other vice ridden den of iniquity, selling your soul to Mammon.

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I have a tarot deck that I keep in a simple leather pouch. I’m not able to predict the future, but I can reflect on and contemplate the present with it.


modulates ancient signals through a unique aesthetic and esoteric sensitivity

Meaningless bullshit.

do fortunetelling systems really work? Answer is: probably yes.

Complete lack of credibility confirmed. Is it even worth saying ‘citation needed’?

But I am thinking of submitting some of the other text to Private Eye’s “Pseud’s Corner” feature.


2020 is proof that predictions are bullshit.


I’ll stick to my magic 8-ball


Yes, there’s no substitute for the classics

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James Randi isn’t cold in the ground* yet… jeeze guys.

* ok maybe he is, they get people in the cooler pretty quick these days.

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I dunno, it seems like you could go: ‘I just signed at a monthly rate with a phone company, but their robot just wrote to say expect semimonthly billing, and I want to know whether I would feel better ending thousands of systems, thousands of stocks, or going with Deadpool’s telco?’ but see a reasonable enough answer. (Envelopes full of tiny charming drones with doses of scopolamine every other 20 days, of course!)


How can I take the phone survey asking if I want to join up supporting veterans in a way that’s clear the class has to end?


How much of Christina Tosi’s 30-day online baking school crunch can I lean into while producing things low in carbs?

And your reply would be less than 80% snark and milkfat! You like, breathe carbs snark and some kinda dairy already right? So…

sudo dnf install fortune


Thankyou for your thoughtful reply, I will digest it slowly

Australia seems to have gotten them at just better than 50% though!
Perhaps you meant ‘people react to identified harm by splash-landing largish personal vehicles right through there’ has taken on new polity? [mmmmmno? That’s not why The Mandalorian is rewatchable? Futur bedankt! The oil lamps will…grow hair an extra week!]


If Gwyneth Paltrow wrote ad copy for the BB store it might sound something like this post.

When I was younger, I played around with tarot cards and the like (an Egyptian deck called Cartouche was one of my favorites.) It wasn’t any good at predictions, but my reaction to the spread often helped me discover more about myself.

Say I was trying to make an choice between option A and option B, but I’m lost in the pros and cons and can’t make up my mind. I read the cards, and they seem to point to A… and I find myself disappointed, because some part of me really wanted to pick B. Paying attention to how I interpreted the meanings of the cards, which ones I gravitated toward and which ones I disliked, helped me learn a little more about myself and what I wanted, and that was useful. But that’s more psychology than prognostication.

I also admire decks for their art design, and this one is very good-looking. I’m not completely sold on the Augmented Reality gimmick, though. It’s interesting, but does everything really need an app to accompany it?

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