These companies' websites offer no clue as to what they do

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Apparently true.

http://www.snopes.com/business/consumer/bastard.asp

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So wait, he had a big clock in the window? That’s rather misleading… I think child-size would be more appropriate.

/cough

…aaaand I’ll just show myself out.

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I quickly scrolled through the comments hoping to be the first to post:

You have bested me, good person. Well played. All the likes.

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Implementing the learnings

Grr…

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So they provide a more basic product than sand and gravel?

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I’m glad someone thinks so.

Your explanation leaves me none the wiser but then I guess I’m not who they are trying to sell their services to.

I will note that Meltwater’s site made a lot more sense to me when I visited - mainly because my browser is so slow that the swanky image taking up the whole screen didn’t load for a while so I got the stuff that’s supposed to be below the fold first (the ‘Monitor’, ‘Analyze’ etc. Which does actually sort of give you some idea of what the company does.

84.51 just seems to exist to ensure that you can’t google them or even type their name easily.

They also seem unaware of the problem with stating something like this:

Our unorthodox name is a nod to our headquarters’ longitudinal location because, like a longitudinal curve, our advanced analytics follow a long arc of time and customer behavior to uncover their wants, needs and desires.

By taking this long-term approach to data analytics, we can understand the customer better than anyone—giving them what’s important to them, when and how they want to receive it.

So you chose your name because it symbolises the sort of analysis you provide? So you only provide me with half the information I need?

What’s with the latitude?

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I first wondered if it was the latitude of something, but no, and then I lost interest because there’s a level of pretentiousness that causes me to do that.

That would be rock.

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My company sort of does the same. We are a european company, but in the US people buy more from a ‘US’ company. So we have a US headquarters consisting of an office containing one potted plant and a desk. We hire a guy to water the plant and collect the mail once a week. The phone is patched through to our european HQ.

The rent and the plantwatering guy cost us way less than we earn from the additional sales of being a ‘US’ company.

Stupid, but hey, it works. And we sell software (mainly via app stores) so the real location of the company assets are ‘virtual’ in a way.

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you beat me to it : )

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Ohhhh, a cLock.

and / or Intelligence fronts. See Donna Blue Aircraft

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