Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/09/26/what-could-possibly-go-wrong-2.html
…
Perhaps exhibitionism is a bad idea after all.
But every time I say that, somebody screams “victim-blaming.” Or at least they type it really hard.
Tinder is the new Match.com, as I’m told round the water cooler.
Well, at least I know what a water cooler is.
I am so hopelessly out of touch…
What were we talking about again?
“As a typical millennial constantly glued to my phone” Millennials are killing IRL dating!
I briefly considered trying Tinder, until I learned that it requires you to log in via Facebook. That’s 100% of the problem right there. Thanks for fucking hunting me, social media! It’s all such casual, breezy fun!
So what you’re saying is the app for people with modern morals, has modern morals about data security?
Shocking, truly shocking… or not.
You’re not saying it about an individual here, but a course of theoretical action available to anyone.
Maybe that can help explain the nuance next time you get accused of blaming a victim? Not a problem I have, but thought you might want advice.
I mean… Dating sites existed when I was in college starting in '98. I can’t imagine they are much different now.
I only used a dating site once, and it was for a social experiment. The idea of using one always made me somehow uncomfortable, and when I’m single I’m not generally in a hurry to meet new people and start a new relationship anyways.
That said, this social experiment was simply to figure out how creepy dudes were on the internet. Super simple goal, and I had no real feel for it other than a small number of anecdotes. So I signed up for the dating section of The Spark (which I read articles on–the dating site part was a smaller section of the site). I created two profiles, one male and one female. Neither had a picture, and the female blurb was fairly cookie cutter. Both stated my real age. Here’s how it worked:
- I wouldn’t respond to anyone seriously inquiring who wasn’t being a creep. This wasn’t an issue; without a picture or anything terribly original in the profile, people looking for a real connection just kinda skipped it.
- When I would get a response from a creeper, their creepy message would go along with their username into the “About” section of the male profile, which was titled, “THE WALL OF SHAME”.
- I then had a pre-written blurb about how my female account was a honeypot trying to shame creepers, and they should really reconsider their behavior. Or at least not be so brazenly stupid.
After about two weeks I shut down this experiment, partly because I kept hitting the character limit of the profile length and having to trim down what I put into it, and partly as well because I got so many responses from much older creepy (and more than half the time, married) guys that I didn’t have time to properly shame them all.
I’d say they’re still overfull with manipulative people trying to put one over on others to assuage the cognitive dissonance between their obvious superiority to others and their own loneliness, or maybe just work out their sadism on an unsuspecting rube. My 2c.
Well no, not necessarily. You can set up an account instead linked to your email, as I once did accidentally.
I’m pretty much over meeting people from the interwebz IRL. Y’all are crazy!
Tinder is not the only site to save a scary amount of information about what we do, is it? Facebook, Google, etc know what we wrote to others, where we were, whom we know, what our credit record is, etc… I have been told that with enhanced GPS, they will remember for ever that day when you stood in front of a shop and then changed your mind and did not enter it. With today’s GPS they already know each and every night you did not spend at home and who else was at the same place overnight. They would also know what messages you exchanged beforehand and whatever you bought for the occasion: sexy underwear, toys, a costume maybe…
They already know that and they have stored it for years. Or am I wrong?
And your point is? Apart from repeating what the article itself says?
When I was in college (both times) if I’d said “dating site” people would have asked me if I was talking about a bar or one of those church singles nights.
(And you’d find the creepers in both places I suspect)
???
You made a post which I read as trying to point out some flaw or shortcoming with the Guardian piece.
Everything you said in your post is set out in the Guardian article.
So what point were you trying to make beyond what the linked article said?
A friend of mine is a non-conservative Christian. She tried ChristianMingle.com for a while. Direct quote:
The people on ChristianMingle are a bunch of fucking freaks!
Should I delete my post, in your opinion?