TSA demands to search man who's already flown

How about an endoscope, projector and a bedsheet?

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If you must, but do you have a den with a TV where we could watch the game instead? You could just call us from the porch, if you actually find anything.

Yep. Iā€™ll be supplying Hummus and pita as well.

Both of you get it all the time? You wouldnā€™t happen to be uncomfortably brown tonedā€¦ Or maybe have one of those ā€œforeignā€ sounding names?

Iā€™ve got a sikh friend, and another east indian friend that have both been ā€œrandomlyā€ selected what would seem to be a suspiciously non-random number of timesā€¦ Of course, both males who travel alone for business on a somewhat regular basisā€¦

I am very pale white and have an English-derived name. I was born on a US Air Force Base in the continental US. I have a pretty good career as a software developer, pay my taxes, am married and own property. Iā€™m pretty non-threatening in general.

However, I have this tendency to question stupidity. For example, for years I used to put things like ā€œvampire hunterā€ or ā€œUFO researcherā€ on my tax returns for a profession, or when the Navy kept harassing me after taking the ASVAB in high school (apparently I was ideal to work on nuclear-powered vessels) I told the recruiter that if I was signing up for a military, it wonā€™t be the one here.

Couple that with a time in early 2002 that I showed up at the airport about thirty minutes before a flight because of traffic and BS at work, very flustered and sweaty and accidentally didnā€™t listen and incorrectly answered the lady at the check-in counter when she asked if I accepted any items from another party or someone else had packed my luggageā€¦ well, I suspect I got put on some ā€œgeneral assholeā€ list.

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The TSA guyā€™s name is Alex, not Andrew, according to the video.

Vows of sacrifice, headless chickens,
Dance in circles, you were not checked:
Man and wife, undressed by all
The TSA and the fishing-net.

I kept this pinned to the side of my cubicle when I lived in Austin. I originally saw these words as a bathroom graffito.

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Hummus and Pita? Sounds like youā€™re having an ARABIC get together thereā€¦
Put him on THE LIST!

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Reagan was still president when I took that (so itā€™s been a little while), but I recall that test having questions along the lines of:

Here is a shape: ā—Æ
Which of these shapes is the same?
a) ā—Æ
b) ā—®
c) ā–±

Iā€™ve probably told this story, but our entire senior class had to take the ASVAB. Our high school (for whatever reason) wanted to host the SAT test, but the auditorium (the single room large enough to hold that many people) only had seats, not desks. The military agreed to let the school borrow lap boards on the condition that the entire senior class take the ASVAB.

I got calls from the recruiter all summerā€¦

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Me, too! Man, I feel so close to you now!

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Waco! Home of the Texas Ranger museum, which details all the dumb and illegal things done by the Rangers, and the Dr Pepper museum, which I never got quite desperate enough to visit.

If it wasnā€™t for Cricketā€™s Pub, Iā€™d have gone nuts while I was there. Instead, just drank way too much and put loads of weight on.

I noticed the locals donā€™t much like to talk about David Koresh.

This needs to be expanded and published. Modern day Kafka material, here.

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Deliciousness isnā€™t bound by such inconsequential trivialities as nationality and race. Deliciousness exists for all to share in.

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I grew up in the DFW area, so I made the trip up I-35 to visit my family a couple times a month.

One trip, I was bringing my car up (leaking oil) so I could swap it out and I stopped in Waco to put in another quart. This was during the Branch Davidian standoff. I pulled off by a Whataburger and the smell of raw sewage wafted over from somewhere. Meanwhile a guy was screaming at the drive-thru board, just going completely apoplectic about something.

That is my lasting memory of the place.

(Around the same time I heard that Olive Garden was voted most romantic dinner in Waco. FWIW.)

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Goes well with the smelly yellow coloured water that comes out of the tap.

In all fairness, Roswell is a smellier town. Iā€™ve worked in all the best places.

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Hereā€™s another thing the locals probably would as soon the rest of the world would forget.

You have a higher opinion of the locals than I do.

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Wow. Could do without the photo.

ugh, Big Rice.