TSA to Valet. "Okay, you are going to have to do part of my job starting this week."
Valet. Okay. How much extra am I going to get paid?
TSA. Nothing. You are helping your country.
Valet. Do you work for free?
TSA. No, but you already have a job this is just a new part of it. We want you to quickly check out the cars you are parking. No big deal.
Valet. What am I looking for?
TSA. Anything unusual, or suspicious--like a package or suitcase, backpacks, anything big enough to contain a bomb.
Valet. A BOMB! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! You want ME to sweep for bombs, which is YOUR job and you don't even want to pay me anything extra?
TSA. Calm down. The odds are very very small that someone will do this, we are all just security theatre remember. We will give you a slip of paper to tell people you searched their car while they were away. I'm sure that they will be grateful that you are protecting them from terrorists and they will give you a bigger tip when you return their car.
Valet. Are you high? They will go ballistic! They already hate you, Stop making them hate me too. YOU do it!
TSA. We can't, we have our handsful patting down seniors in wheelchairs and making women drink their own breast milk, we are swamped. Come on! Don't you love America?
Valet. I do and I also love the 4th Amendment.
TSA. Which one is that?
Valet; The one that guards against unreasonable searches and seizures, which requires a warrant to be judicially sanctioned and supported by probable cause.
TSA. Never heard of it. Besides, we don't follow rules written before 9/11 because 9/11. We get to ignore stuff that gets in the way of protecting everyone.
Valet. I'm not going to do it!
TSA. Do it or you're fired. Unemployment is so high, we'll have a hundred people lining up to take your job.
h/t Jardin for image and last line.