TSA's new "pat-downs" are so invasive, airports are pre-emptively warning cops to expect sexual assault claims

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/03/06/a-date-with-doctor-jellyfinger.html

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I’m starting to think that part of what’s behind this is an attempt to deter “peasants” from travelling by air. Flight should be reserved for the "air"istocracy. (groan)

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Yes, completely expectable. The slippery, slippery slope.

That said, -1 for blanket characterizing Pre-Check, Clear, etc. as “letting its best-connected, wealthiest fliers buy their way out of the normal screening”. As a frequent business traveler, I’m not especially well-connected nor wealthy, but the line time that would be tolerable for occasional and/or leisure flying is an excruciating waste when repeated over and over, and would really grind me down. Amortized over a few flights, it’s only a few bucks per. Is it really that unconscionable?

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Extreme petting, I mean vetting.

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Hopefully the male TSA screeners are so painfully straight that if I start writhing and groaning in ecstasy the moment they touch my junk they will get freaked out and just let me through.

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I’d buy that if I didn’t already have PreCheck through work and on my last two flights still get a pat down because the metal detectors have a randomizer as well.

That said, WTF. It’s 2017. Swab that shit and put the sniffers on it.

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Trump: “Grab 'em by the pussy”

TSA: “Sure thing, boss!”

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Please. It’s 2017. Use your anger at the law to fix the problem, not making the screeners angry at gay people.

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You mean so deeply in the closet. If they’re comfortable with their sexuality they should have no problems.

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It’s as if the TSA and the airline industry are working together to destroy their own existence.

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I think you’re missing the point. Relative to the average American, who flies less than one time/year, you are fantastically well-connected. Even the least-connected, least-wealthy frequent flier is infinitely better connected than the infrequent fliers, who are likely to have virtually no surplus cash, nor even be registered to vote.

It’s true that frequent fliers themselves decompose into a power-law curve of connected-ness and wealth (with a discontinuity at the private jet/charter threshold). But the entire class represents a significantly super-median group of Americans by wealth, political engagement, and privilege.

Taking this group out of the pool of people seriously harmed/humiliated by TSA procedures virtually guarantees that new, humiliating TSA procedures will proceed with impunity.

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Also, for the record, I’m a very frequent flier, and a Pre-Check member, and also have a household income substantially higher than the median US family.

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Yes. While I appreciate the intent of the joke, all writhing and moaning would do is give homophobes even more BS to hang their hat on and harass people even more.

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The truly “well connected” don’t fly commercial. They drive right up to the door of their own, or a chartered, plane. There are precisely zero checks by TSA or any other authorities before these people board at their leisure carrying whatever they want.

Then they fly from the same airports into the same airspace.

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It is a little surprising how self-destructive all of this is. Even if you are a business-type right-winger who only cares about profits, how could any of this be good for the bottom line?

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Because the smart ones got in on the Rapiscan systems that sell all the shit.

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I meant for the airlines. But you are right: there are lots of other industries involved here, all trying to turn as much as coin as possible.

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Oh, the airlines don’t give a damn, they just tack on a $5 surcharge for “safety” and call it a day.

“How much is safety worth to you, dear traveler? You already pay Ticketmaster $22 for convenience fees, and isn’t safety worth much more than that?”

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Obligatory SMBC.

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