Turning spam-calls from a hassle into a profit-centre


That lemon half is placed wrong-way up in the juicer…

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Is this some kind of joke I don’t understand?

Hmmm… I wonder if this would be possible to do in the US…


Not for that kind of juicer. For a hand-squeezer, the lemon half goes “upside-down.”

I assume the pictorial joke refers to the old adage “When life gives you lemons, squeeze their juice out into a small glass even though you have no sugar or ice or water in the frame.”


I was with him until “I look for ways to get companies to call me.”

That goes from sticking it to them creatively to actively being a prat.

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Really? I have no sympathy for companies that cold-call whatsoever. Fuck them.


all 0871 numbers are toll numbers ( as are 1-900 numbers in the us ). people calling his number ( are able to ) know what to expect before they call.


I’m a little disappointed that someone this innovative values his time at just 7p per minute. Still not winning.


Spammers converting their “Call this number if you want to be removed from our calling list” phone number to this service in…three…two…one…


Now wondering whether registering with the Telephone Preference Service was such a good idea. It was very effective.


FWIW, this is what has worked for our family:

-We are all trained to NOT answer the land line unless we recognize the caller;
-The voice mail message starts with a stern “Take this number off your call list”;
-After a second or two of silence, it continues with “If you know us personally, then you can leave a message. Thank you.”

We went from 10-15 calls/day (never move: your number is sold to EVERYONE ON THE PLANET) to 1-2/month. If someone messes up and picks up the line when they shouldn’t, we go back to 3-5 days of incessant calls and then the frequency falls off again.

A number of our friends have started doing this as well, because it’s so effective.


$7 USD/hour

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I remember an old Spinal Tap interview (I think it was on the CD single for Majesty of Rock) where one quotes the saying as “when life gives you lemons, make lemon juice”.


The US does still have 1-areacode-976-#### numbers (and a few other exchanges in some areas), but I think most of the telemarketers’ databases know enough not to call them. We also have the Do Not Call list, but “Rachel from Cardholder Services” and her friends pretty much ignore them, and the more scammy telemarketers don’t obey the requirement to maintain their own Do Not Call lists from people who’ve told them not to call back.


It is a premium 0871 number, but it’s his own 0113 code that they’re dialling, that’s just pointed at an 0871 no. at the switch. Like the reverse of looking for the standard no. on saynoto0870.com (if you don’t know about saynoto0870, folks, well now you do. Use it).

(ETA: I am wrong. Ah well)

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I wish we could do this, but before we had an actual office (and once when we had to close for repairs because of a broken water line), we ran our business through our home phone number. Many of our old clients still call that number, and we don’t want to penalize people who have a legit reason to call us. Meanwhile, telemarketers who ignore the ‘Do Not Call’ list et. al. can die in a fire.

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I got rid of my landline 7 years ago and never looked back, i use a voip phone and cell phone only. never once had a spam call. also I save a ton of money as my voip has unlimited outbound and inbound international calling and with the package i am on I pay about $40USD per year and I can use it from my cell if i’m near wifi or want to use up my data plan.

the only downside I can think of is both services make it clear you are f*cked if there is a disaster because without power they don’t work and you couldn’t reach emergency services, and you have to dial the full number of the service you need, no helpful 911.

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If they’re going to call you I guess it’s worth sticking them for some money, but to me it’s not even remotely worth 7p/m to have to talk to those evil bastards.

Oh absolutely: once the last kid is out of the house, no more landline. They’re not little anymore, but the youngest has always been bad in an emergency, so I need the assurance that just dialing the number even without saying anything will bring help to our address. And hope we never have to put that feature to use, of course.