Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/07/11/two-people-arrested-in-stolen.html
…
6 Likes
Are we sure this isn’t a Coen Bros script?
49 Likes
If you’re calm, that wondrous snake will be calm too.
3 Likes
I mean, the hed reads like a quick round of Exquisite Corpse…
8 Likes
44 Likes
First thought: In Florida it would have been a python and plutonium.
Next thought: Did the cops find the stolen ATM machine in the trunk?
And next: Wasn’t this an S. Clay Wilson story in Zap! comix circa 1974?
8 Likes
Hmmm a rattlesnake, uranium, and a gun?
Pretty sure they were trying to mutate the snake into creating their own Serpentor.
19 Likes
Glad he clarified. Could have applied to any of the above.
8 Likes
TIL that there are states with a rattlesnake hunting season.
8 Likes
Was coming to post “wasn’t that a GI Joe 5 episode story”???
4 Likes
How, exactly, did they identify the “canister of radioactive powdered uranium”? Because I would bet that it’s an empty canister with a novelty label. The police have enough trouble identifying drugs; how the heck are they going to conclude that something is uranium?
Maybe it’s just some badly cracked Fiestaware.
8 Likes
Sounds like Fallout LARPers.
10 Likes
WELL ACKSHUALLY all uranium is radioactive, but you could basically eat the stuff sprinkled on your breakfast cereal and suffer no ill effects, unless you stole your canister of uranium from a nuclear power plant.
No radiological effects, I mean. It would definitely be bad for you on a chemical level. Don’t eat heavy metals, kids.
8 Likes
Are we sure it is all theirs?
Wrong dang car, Maude… 
4 Likes
My favorite part of the story is that he’s free and clear on the rattlesnake charges because he has a rattlesnake hunting license, and that apparently lets him keep a live rattlesnake in his possession at all times.
Not that I have a problem with this! You’ll pry my rattlesnake out of my cold dead hands, which should happen about half an hour after I pick up the rattlesnake.
17 Likes
There was that power vacuum when Cobra Commander took a sabbatical in order to berate Objectivist protagonists
7 Likes
Strangely I had almost the exact same thought, and I pictured a younger Nicolas Cage as the male half of the couple.
“I’m going to take these here huggies, this rattlesnake, this bottle of Deluxe, the radioactive powder, and all the money in your cash register.”
6 Likes
Was this car named…”the United States of America”?
8 Likes
Look, you can’t always wait around and hope a radioactive spider turns you into a superhero. Sometimes you have to go out and MAKE that shit HAPPEN.
20 Likes
