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To be a nonconformist like us, you just have to dress in black like us, and listen to the same music we do.
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*snickerz
Personally, I dress in black because it’s less maintenance and it goes with everything.
I ‘darkle’ because it’s my nature.
And I don’t know what music goths or emos listen to these days, I listen to whatever I want.
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In my day the quintessential goth song was Enjoy the Silence.
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In my day, Depeche Mode was never goth. Of course, I’m old enough to have seen Sisters of Mercy and Siouxie and the Banshees in concert. Only got to see Bauhaus because of the reunion tour (and because 3/4 of the group seems to really like having shows in Detroit - seriously, saw Love & Rockets twice in one year in Detroit).
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Or maybe… just maybe, people dress in ways that give them pleasure, and find others who do the same? Or I guess you could be right, and we’re all just a bunch of posers.
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That is what I have always gone with… well with work appropriate in mind anyway.
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Indeed! An awesome band, but not a goth band. And although all goths love the Sisters of Mercy, the Sisters of Mercy hate being called goth. I too, saw the Bauhaus reunion tour! It was amazing.
There is a lot more underground stuff, Christian Death (and the various side projects especially around Frontier records), all of the stuff on Projekt records (His Name is Alive, Thanatos, Black Tape for a Blue Girl), the LA Death Rock scene that morphed out of the earlier punk scene (the Gun Club, the Cramps, Fields of the Nephilim, 45 Grave, Super Heroines especially)… Some of the No Wave stuff leaned gothy (Swans, Teenaged Jesus and the Jerks with the kick ass Lydia Lunch, maybe the Bush Tetras)… There was also the esoteric underground stuff in Britain that the goths loved - Nurse With Wound, Coil, and early Caberet Voltaire). I think I’d be remiss to leave out the industrial scenes as there is heavy crossover there - Skinny Puppy, all the Chicago stuff around Wax Trax Records (first the store, then the label - Ministry, Front 242, Laibach, KMFDM, Young Gods, Frontline Assembly, Thrill Kill Kult, Chris Connelly’s early solo work, the AMAZING Foetus, etc, too many to list… they introduced lots of American goths to European industrial bands), and then Martin Atkins with Invisible Records (FUCK IT UP PIGFACE!). At least some of 4ADs stuff appeals to the goth crowd (Cocteau Twins, This Mortal Coil (which if you don’t have all of those albums, what’s wrong with you, go buy them NOW), Dead Can Dance, Clan of Xymox, The Birthday Party, Xmal Deutschland). Oh, and how can I forget the wonderful Mute records (which had both DM and Erasure, but also puts out albums by the gothiest woman on the fucking planet Diamonda Galas). There was also the gothiest of goth labels that gothed to out goth all the other goths - Cleopatra Records (Nosferatu, Switch Blade Symphony, Spahn Ranch, Electric Hellfire Club, Leather strip, etc).
Much like punk, goth was/is a pretty vast musical underground that included a pretty wide variety of styles and subgenres. The scenes themselves (much like any other group of likeminded folks who seek to exist on their own terms) do practice various forms of gate keeping, but tend to accept and embrace people who might not fit in elsewhere, making it a safe haven for weirdos. [takes off gothy professor hat]
Who cares when you’re at the club! 
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I was already into my 20s and over wanting club clothes by the time Goth hit the midwest. For pure comfort I have always gone with something between straight edge punk and grunge. Someone thinks it isn’t “right” for the club/concert then fuckem. I tend to go with jeans and a button down shirt these days. Also I was more into going to live shows vs. going to dance clubs.
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I was directly quoting the south park episode
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Vicious is as vicious does
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My dog, woman, did you break into my house and start digging around in my ancient CD collection?!?
For the sake of the youngs, I deliberately left off the more obscure stuff that made up our daily listening diet back in the day. I’m sad that you mention Project without mentioning Lycia, though. My favorite from Sam Rosenthall’s (Mr. Black Tape for a Blue Girl) little record company. In the years before internet sales, and called to make your order, sometimes Sam answered the phone.
Thinking back, I really did see quite a lot of live shows way back then. Ministry, Nine Inch Nails (twice), the Cure, Daniel Ash all by himself, Swans, Lisa Gerard by herself…probably countless other shows I don’t really remember (heh). Not sure how goth or punk it was, but I saw the Jim Rose Freak Show three separate times in three separate states. The last time, we got to see Mr. Lifto’s full act.
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And related to going to shows. I got to see them. Had to road trip to Chicago and stayed with a friend who was going to school there. The 4 of us who went were probably the only ones in the audience not all gothed up in dress though the guy we stayed with a in all black but he tended to dress that way anyway.
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Ok - I know I am late to the “dance”, but for classic Gothic Horror this Penny Dreadful series is good.
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