Sure I do. Why are you being indirect?
I don’t know about that… how about teaching people that when an individual is passed out, you violate someone. Period. Regardless of gender. I think if you raise kids with basic human respect for their fellow human beings, you eliminate a big part of the problem. Also, if the schools would actually punish the rapists, throw them out of school, and call the police, that might help too.
I see what you’re saying - I really do, but passing out drunk is not a crime (or a minor crime, drinking underage), compared to sexual assault no? How about we make a clear as a society that rape or sexual assault is unacceptable, FULL STOP?
TLDR: http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/z2b627/the-fault-in-our-schools
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Oh gawd, I can’t stop myself. It’s too tempting. “If only the Jews were more assertive in telling the Nazis not to kill them, they could have easily avoided that entire Holocaust unpleasantness!”
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Exactly!!!
(always happy to have an excuse to post that gif!!! But still… GODWIN’D…)
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Feeling snippy. Your post sounded to me like it was edging into blame-the-victim territory. Have I jumped to conclusions?
Yep.
I mean to say that when you start out abusing yourself (like with binge drinking, or my other examples) you’re abusing -yourself-. No victim, you choose to go and dysfunction in the world. No amount of institutional control stops someone from abusing them-self.
and thank you for asking!
I understood your point, but was indirect an effective way to say I was edging in? I mean, some part of this very conversation is about using the language that directly says what you mean to say.
(additionally, as victim I do get to decide my own level of responsibility for my own assault. my own foolishness did play a role. Unreasonable expectations can lead to unreasonable outcomes)
Wow am I coddled or imperceptive or… something. Stupid maybe.
Because it was ‘irresponsible’ of you to put yourself into a potentially dangerous situation?
Since I knew not one but two men in college who were literally laughed at for reporting rape–one a gay man who had been beaten during the assault, and one who had been drugged at a party, “coming to” to the reality of two cops laughing at his pants-free state in a parking lot–I don’t have to imagine. For bonus points, the latter had to endure months of victim blaming.
It doesn’t help, but you felt the need to do it anyway. Bravo.
EDIT: Unrelated to your comment, but to the discussion at hand: some stories I see on the subject mention the ongoing Title IX investigations. It’s important to note that, despite what some sensational headlines said, no, not all 55 schools were under investigation for mishandling sexual assault charges; the first one I looked up, Knox College, was about a discrimination case filed by an employee, and the University of Hawaii-Oahu was apparently dumbfounded because they’d been told that it was an audit, nothing to worry about, only to see a story in the press that they were under investigation for mishandling rape investigations. So if you see a school on that list that HuffPo circulated a few months back, all I’ll say is find out why they were on that list.
To highlight what an idiot your neighbor is?
White dude here; would never do that. But then, living just down the road from one of the 100 Most Dangerous Cities In America taught me to be cautious.
It’s also a college town, but they’ve somehow managed to get a grip on the sexual assault situation, allegedly.
Just because you didn’t hear of it doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.
Putting British University sports ‘stars’ on a plinth?
Almost nobody gives a shit about university sport in the UK, it just means you get Weds afternoon off. It doesn’t form a route into professional sport in anything other than cricket.
If you want to talk about sportsmen in general in the UK (football players, at any rate) getting as close to a free pass for abhorrent behaviour as possible, then yes, certainly, I agree.
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“Collegiate” sports in the USA should be transferred to the city governments the universities are in. They’re already a hive of scum and villainy and already are best placed to direct the bored cops and pepper-spray stocks at an appropriate target; at least then the jock assholes could stop pretending to be part of “their” U.
How was I putting myself into a potentially dangerous situation?
I think some of these situations (getting drunk around strangers where the culture suggests it’s OK for them to make a move, walking around alone at night, perhaps not being careful enough about where you put your drink if strangers are around) are pretty risky, but they are still a lot more risky for women (or to remove the gendered element, are unacceptably risky anyway) because there are elements of the culture that say that the abuser’s actions are excusable, understandable or that is a gray area. It was mentioned in a different thread that a very significant proportion of rape incidences in Denmark were by foreigners (even though they are not as highly represented in society). I think the good news here is that people who grew up in the society largely got the message that abuse is not OK, regardless of the woman’s actions. Alcohol is more expensive and there are other differences, but if it were only about women being safer, there wouldn’t be as big a problem with people who grew up in other cultures. (This isn’t to demonize those other cultures, my point is that rape culture is a thing and significantly reducing it is possible).
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You may have replied to the wrong comment.
Nope.
Perhaps you did?
I did not.
Highlighting that I do not know. Maybe because I am stupid and cant figure it out.
Of course! I am an idiot. Shoulda seen that.
Perhaps with the guy being there and you unloading a car on your own. Made me think of Wild Bill.
But, alas! I am stupid.
edit: “irresponsible” is in inverted commas as it’s not your irresponsibility but rather that of societys which is being inflicted upon you. It should not be irresponsible to just be alone on a street…
I gather that if the roles were reversed, the woman sitting alone in her car wouldn’t be as unconcerned as to leave the door ajar and ignore the man who had parked next to her. The man would probably be fine, but the woman wouldn’t want to take the non-trivial risk that he wasn’t. While rape does happen to men, most of us wouldn’t consider a woman parking next to us to be a threat at all.
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that’s some fine mansplainin’ right thar.
edit: but perhaps I deserved it…
Honestly, it was just supposed to be my take on what chgoliz said. It was interesting to hear my wife’s comments when she first moved to my home town - there was a big difference in her experience of walking on the sidewalk alone and walking on the same sidewalk with me, to the extent that she couldn’t really enjoy herself and relax if she was alone. I could unicycle down the same street without getting the same amount of attention, and was completely oblivious to the short of decisions she and other women would have to make if they wanted to go somewhere, or the fear they might have if they found themselves in a situation that I wouldn’t even think about.
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