Unpaid Coast Guard employees told to work as part-time "mystery shoppers"

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/16/unpaid-coast-guard-employees-t.html

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Yes! But require them to be in uniform.
Never forget!

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Bonus tip:

  • In 2020, remember whose fault this is.
  • Illegal drugs are very popular in some communities. Selling crack cocaine and heroin can be very profitable!

  • While prostitution gets a bad image in the press, everyone likes sex, and you can make more than enough to buy the illegal drugs you turn around and sell.

  • There are many different kinds of theft: explore shoplifting, mugging, burglary, and pick-pocketing.


I live close to the Coastguard Academy on the East Coast - local groups are collecting food donations for CG families in the area.

It’s a good thing, but insane that our country is in this situation.


I like to think of all the folks suffering through tRump’s OWNED GOV. shutdown as future “mystery voters”.


It’s really messed up that charitable efforts are getting spun up to help people with full-time jobs, with good benefits, that are paid by our taxes. This is not what charity is supposed to go towards. I’m not saying the people supporting the federal workers who are furloughed are doing the wrong thing, mind you. I’m saying it is really annoying that resources that should support actual poor people are instead preventing other people from starving because Trump can’t let his base think he is weak.


Sell your organs! You have TWO kidneys, and will probably only need ONE! Find a friendly pimp and become a prostitute! All you have to do is lay there! Spare children are an excellent source of protein!


So I have to ask…was the listing posted by the Coast Guard to its civilian staff? If so, then I do not blame that leadership. They do not control the govt’ shutdown and cannot effect it. So they are doing everything they can to help their staff members survive this nightmare from the Toddler in Chief.

That list is not much different than what a financial services or retirement professional might suggest as some added ways to save or bring in extra income. They are not out of the ordinary in that regard.

What IS out of the ordinary is having a temper tantrum laden presidential administration and an enabling GOP who help the Toddler pitch his fit. And it is completely fucked up that this effects so many people negatively.


The scales really fell from my eyes when someone on twitter pointed out that virtually every heartwarming local news story really reveal the crushing hell our society puts people through. Kids selling lemonade to pay for mom’s cancer treatments, man waking at 4 am and walking ten miles each way for minimum-wage job, etc.


I did this for a little bit. It is truly the most shit job I’ve had in my life.

And I had a job literally shovelling shit at a goat farm for a bit in highschool.


Indeed, it seems quite unfathomable to me that there’s such a thing as a “Mystery Shopper” program that isn’t a scam.

By now there is almost certainly someone in the Federal Government saying, “Now that you’ve got some free time, why not earn some extra income by becoming my downline in my herbal supplements enterprise? Be your own boss and work from home! A small down payment will get you on your way…”



Or get into the classrooms and help LAUSD management break the teacher’s strike!


Good luck with that. Even the full-time teachers are barely making enough to get by.


I tried it once. They wanted a research paper in return for a free lunch. I gave them an email saying it was fine and paid for my own damn lunch.

Is no one telling them to give plasma, or donate sperm or eggs? Participate in medical studies?


Basically. Even the “legitimate” companies are in the business of screwing the people they hire.

The one I worked with was a favor for a friend. Spying on restaurant employees. They’d only reimburse for 4 drinks, beer or wine only. 2 per person (they wanted you to bring a friend so it was less suspicious). And only the cheapest stuff available.

The favor for a friend came in when she couldn’t find anyone willing to do this at strip clubs around Philly. So there you are in a strip club, with whoever you’ve conned into joining you. At 1pm on a Wednesday. You’re gonna be there for hours, you’ve been instructed not to tip the dancers, or get involved in what a strip club does. You have to sit at the bar, and ask the employees their names and watch them like a hawk. But not the employees you’re supposed to do that with. And you’re only allowed to have 2 of whatever’s cheapest, and you can tip a max of 1 dollar per drink. You can’t do the smart thing and just go along with how strip clubs work, because it’s a favor for a friend. And you’ll end up losing money cause they’re only paying you like $30 bucks.

Which is the most fucking suspicious thing ever. And awkward as fuck. To make matters worse I once ran into a very attractive friend of a friend who turned out to be a dancer. Which is a little awkward. Oh hey you were at Mike’s the other day, and your tits are out. More awkward is that she was very excited to see me and insistent that I get a dance. Which is also awkward, but also favor for a friend so really can’t. And you can’t tell her that, and you can’t afford to spend more than you’re being paid.

So I just got out of there.

I found out later that girl was legitimately interested in me, but her co-workers felt I was incredibly creepy. And I never heard from her again.

I don’t think I was ever paid my $30. Did get reimbursed for the Coors lights though.


My understanding is that, for funding purposes, the entire coast guard is “civilian”. The coast guard falls under the purview of the department of homeland security, like the TSA, and is exempt from the military funding that never gets cut off.

  • Sell unwanted, larger ticket items through the newspaper or online.

Steal office supplies (or anything else not bolted down) and sell them? There might be some good Coast Guard memorabilia around that a civilian can get their hands on.

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As a RET member of the armed forces (USAR) I already know the exact structure of the USCG. They have both members who are classified as military and also true civilian workers attached.

You are correct they are funded via DHS which is why they are not being paid due to the shut down while Armed Forces personnel including civilian workers are paid as the Pentagon budget and funding is separate.

My question was in WHO was providing the “advice”. If it was the Coast Guard command structure then as I stated I am perfectly fine with what they were suggesting and believe it was done with intent to actually help people get through this. If the direction came from the administration in anyway then it’s a slap in the teeth and absolute bullshit.

Coast Guard command is not responsible or in control of the shutdown.

The Toddler in Chief and his administration is!!!