Well that’s my point – it’s all in the narrative, and that the continuous existence we think exists is really but the drawing that comes to light when we connect a series of ordered dots… The shape it creates is real, but it’s only “real” from the point of view of a perceiver outside of the thing. And that perceiver is, ironically, not the thing we think of as “us” (the construct) but, in fact, is a thing that exists outside of the frame of reference of the thing that is perceived. I’ve had a few, btw, so I don’t expect this to make any sense at all. 
Maybe the awesomeness is what we are drawn toward? I feel in my heart of hearts that I’m absolutely an alien anthropologist/tourist who decided to check this point in spacetime on Planet Earth out, because it was an interesting point in which we reiterated another level of the “onion skin” of reality via “Interwebs.” Of course, to reiterate, I’m a cwaaaazy guy.
It’s interesting you say this, as I myself am a self-described “hardcore chronic insomniac” for around, hmmmm, 7 or 8 years now at least? And I can honestly say that one of the main factors that affects my sleep patterns (or lack thereof!) is the “fear of non-existence” that is part and parcel of falling asleep…
I have felt intense grief and loss in my life, and as such, I know that they are real. I’m not dis-acknowledging “feelings” and their reality, not by a long shot! And this is what I come around to when thinking about death – it’s not the death itself that has negative connotations, but rather, the effects it has on others. Again, I’m not saying that the “self” does not exist – rather, it is a different sort of beast than most humans take it for. By example, let’s say you have a piece of code, and you compile it, and it’s now something else, and then you run it, and it’s something else. What “is” the “thing” of the code? Is it the original code? Is it the program you compile? Is it what you do with that compiled code? Is it the experience of running that program? Is it all of these things? None of these things? Sorry if this sounds like a ton of existential bullshit…
The worst thing for me is that identifying the cause doesn’t help in any way, even though the rational part of my mind knows that lack of sleep is not healthy and eventually kills people, directly or indirectly. But the undeniable fact is that there’s no way to avoid sleep, just as there’s no way to avoid death. If it weren’t for dreams it would be like a mini-death, every night/day/whenever you sleep.
Also I sleep better with a constant low level of light and sound. I hate nothing more than sleeping in a silent, dark room. It reminds me of a tomb and it freaks me out to hear my own heartbeat (now that seems illogical, it should be reassuring, no? Or maybe it’s because it’s a reminder of mortality.) Like anyone, I dream frequently and have the occasional nightmare, but I wouldn’t say nightmares are the cause of my messed up sleeping patterns/attitude. I have had some frightening experiences in my life, and it’s not often my nightmares come close to those.
I suppose it also doesn’t help that I once lived with someone who thought it was fun to startle me from a deep sleep by deliberately dropping objects (chosen specifically for their clattering, resonant qualities) on the floor right next to me. Another time I lived with a borderline psychotic who would often wake me in the middle of the night for a deep and disturbing drug-induced chat about the universe - and just recently another person freaked me out by going to bed and leaving an unlit gas hob turned on (just as well someone else had the good sense to refrain from turning any lights on once the smell became so intense that it could be detected even through a shut bedroom door). So yes. As if I didn’t have enough problems sleeping, now I have anxiety about what happens while I’m asleep too.
Sometimes I envy the religious and the superstitious. I overthink everything and I’m usually so logical I scare myself on a regular basis. It reminds me of The Matrix and the red pill/blue pill choice. I’d always take the red pill, but I’d always wish for the blissful ignorance of the blue pill.
it’s all in the narrative
What narrative? What shape? I haven’t seen either.
My first thought was, “nah, that can’t be enough beads.” Then I did some back-of-the-envelope calculations and thought, “Okay, I guess that’s the right number of beads.” Then I figured out that that was the whole point of the exercise: I don’t have that many beads left! Then I started pricing little colored beads. Then I realized I was wasting precious bead-time trying to imitate his bead-exercise. Then I got stressed out and got right back on the internet to calm myself down. Then I realized I had this window open, so I figured I’d comment. Now I’m feeling bad about wasting STILL MORE BEAD-TIME. Gotta go!
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You guys have all watched the vid, right?
Dude’s a mindblower.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my fellow Boing Boingers! 
2014!!!
Relevant to this idea:
http://www.npr.org/2014/01/01/258823039/alarm-clock-sets-off-a-real-wake-up-call
tl;dl summary: Being realistic is a good thing… in limited doses.
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