Therein lies the gap between âintentionsâ and actually understanding how you communicate with the outside world.
Ultimately you donât care, keep presenting that awesome person image with zero-insight I guess.
The difference between us is that when someone tells me that Iâm denigrating a group of persons with my speech, I donât double down on the offense to protect my pet sexist terms, Iâd hope I would have the insight to realize where my intentions might just be fuckered.
A rare case of Munchausen by dubstep.
Well, ok, suppose wiktionary has a definition of âThrowerâ that says âAn individual who engages in offensive speech and then doubles down when challenged.â And then when I call Donald Trump a Thrower, I can say âI donât mean to be offensive to Trump. Iâm just using Thrower in the colloquial sense, a guy who says dumb things.â
None of those things change the fact that that definition and use of âThrowerâ are offensive to Throwers, and that by using the term in that sense I continue to uphold the stereotype that Throwers can be pretty rude.
Besides that comparing some sexist terminology to something more value neutral is only going to be useful to point out that more value neutral insults can be used, and the gulf of context between them, not to justify slut-shaming.
In addition, the massively childish attachment to the old terms of hate over anything else. I stopped using âretardedâ years back and felt the same attachment pangs of familiarity, but fuck that aspect of myself, Iâm better off not promoting those âvaluesâ in speech.
I am in no way offering a defense of the term âattention whoreâ, I am intrigued by the derivation and history though.
I think the perjorative is in the greediness not the sex aspect. The perjorative word âwhoreâ is not only a sex worker but also itâs perjorative definition, therefore âwhoreâ = âsex workerâ = âperson who will do things I wouldnât for moneyâ
Swap out money with attention in that last sentence and you have your analogy.
Still wrong, but maybe the wrongness is tangential to the meaning intended by the âturn of the phraseâ (yet rightly removed as itâs not a good word)
Itâs telling that you donât call them an Attention Capitalist or an Attention Scrooge, then.
Your framing is irrelevant to the message you are stating. It is a whore, a woman that sells or gives away her body that is the lowest figure in the insult. Lower still than the target of your insult, because at least theyâre not a woman who gives their body to another in a way that another disagrees with.
If you intended a different meaning you would use the actual wording that matched your meaning. The issue is that your intentions have more in common with you feeling good than using the proper terminology, context, and target for lazy insults.
The sexist context that comprises it is also the reason for both its popularity and why people feel such apprehension at seeking out alternatives.
It is very effective at putting forth a negative impression of someone, primarily because âwhoreâ continues to be a word with power, and dancing around this doesnât do anyone any favors.
That all said, my sexism-free choice would be âattention-soakâ, because they just canât get enough of it.
71 posts and only 25 pertain to the actual topic while the rest debate the tautology of the phrase âattention whoreâ
This is what I love (and hate) about BB!
(But Iâm not disappointedâŚyet!)
Edit: Etymology - not Tautology. Apologies to all the pedants out there!
It is. Let it go. Just walk away. I have a few close friends that are sex workers. They will never let an asshole see that their words have hurt them but they do hurt because they are people. Instead they will cry later to their close friends. Donât be that asshole. Or I guess be the asshole and own it and donât pretend to care about these fellow humans. Your words speak volumes about you and nothing about them. Your choice.
Edited to add: In all fairness I have over the years said some pretty offensive things. I didnât mean them to be hurtful and usually they were meant to be funny, or I just mindlessly repeated some phrase I had heard. When I was younger I would argue to convince the hurt person why what I said wasnât really hurtful. Thus shaming them for their very valid feelings. I have learned over time to as briefly as possible say I am sorry and then shut up. Donât defend myself. Donât explain myself. And most of all donât drag the incident out. It wonât help you or them. Sometimes silence is the best contrition.
I was asked what I meant by a phrase, and I explained what I understood it to mean and what I meant by it. This after already agreeing to cease and desist use of the phrase and explaining that I intended to insult no one other than the dope there in the video.
I have no time for being told what I think. If it makes you feel better to assume - ney insist - that Iâm an immovable sexist that hates prostitutes and everything they stand for then have it, whatever gets you through the day.
Pretty much. Sometimes I donât think abut what Iâm saying or think Iâm expressing something totally counter to my words and âdeepest intentionsâ.
Itâs good to get past oneâs aura of self-bullshit and be a better communicator.
Keep on never analyzing oneself and assuming that Iâm calling you some sort of irredeemable sexist versus pointing out rightly that weâre all programmed regressively by society, and itâs within our power to sidestep the thoughts and words that come to mind.
You can represent yourself and your values however you want. And people will know you by your messages and not some silly âtrue soul and intentionâ concept.
Iâm not beating up anyone for using it, just the gyrations offered to justify continuing to
use it when the etymology and context of the insult is broken down.
I apologise for having a discussion about the phrase - next time Iâll take the first objection to anything I say at face value and avoid critical thinking.
Night all.
Why start now?
Iâm 46 and still learning to be the best person I can be to those around me. I still make mistakes all the time. I try to not take criticism personally but itâs tough to not react emotionally. I try to help others get past the knee jerk defenses that never go well. And I donât mind shining a light on my own faults if that helps them. 
Which would be fair had I not agreed to stop using the phrase literally 2 or 3 comments into the discussion.
Explaining my understanding of the phrase in a wider discussion is not gyrating.
Fin.
