I think that’s pale pink for women and light blue for men.
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At first this seems like “truth to power” but after reading @mennonot’s post, thinking a bit more and understanding the dynamics of public education, this now just seems like some “BUT I’M THE VALEDICTORIAN!” entitled bullshit. Yes, she worked hard. No she didn’t do it alone. Yes there were probably people who could have helped her even more, but there were literally thousands of students at her high school who needed help more than her. I don’t want to hear about the valedictorian who didn’t get everything handed to her on a platter, I want to hear about the kid with middling grades who got more time with the counselor so that he could actually make it into community college. Or the kid whose parents got deported and who needed extra help from the administrators just to make sure she graduated. Teachers and administrators are pretty much universally overworked and underpaid. Maybe she should take her “truth to power” gun and aim it in that direction.
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Thanks for that - a very interesting read. My first response was to cheer her on. Now I’m a bit less certain that’s what I feel like doing.
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The counselor “failed them?” We have absolutely nothing to indicate that, other than an 18 year old saying that she doesn’t think she helped her sufficiently. Do we know if she was spending time helping another kid who was in danger of harming herself? Or counseling someone who got pregnant?
All I’m saying is that we’re making a hell of a lot of assumptions in taking the student’s word at face value here, and if it isn’t quite the situation she’s portrayed then this counselor is getting a pretty raw deal. I think @waetherman has a very reasonable take on the matter.
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Yup. Theater and speech. If I wanna be heard, you’re gonna have to try a lot harder than cutting my mic.
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Based on personal knowledge, not only my own but that of my (now adult) children as well, I’d say if that’s all she complained about, then it’s actually one of the better schools for the safety and education of students…or, what is much more likely, she didn’t actually list all of the issues that in a similar situation but involving only adults would cause immediate firing and legal action.
In other words, I think it’s highly unlikely that she’s exaggerating or making stuff up. If anything, she’s probably only exposed the tip of the iceberg at that school.
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Now that I have just crossed this bridge let me set it thoroughly ablaze. This is not a good lesson or example, in life after high school you may yet have dealings with people where you may wish to not have so vigorously burned bridges.
Perhaps more Colin Kaepernick and less Tim McVeigh.
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I think what might have rankled in that situation is the counsellor telling her how proud she was that one of “her students” was valedictorian.
If you think the person who you think did not help you is claiming to be responsible/any way involved with your achievement, you’re likely to be annoyed.
Ultimately, expecting an 18 year old to care about whether the counsellor isn’t helping them ‘sufficiently’ because they are helping someone else who apparently needs it ‘more’ is a bit much.
Since she also calls out the school allowing that situation in the first place…
Again perhaps a bit much to expect from a schoolchild?
To you, teachers and administrators may seem powerless (and in the grand scheme they are). To a pupil in school, they can a) claim to be and b) seem to be and c) actually be - akin to gods.
Arbitrary and cosmically powerful within their bounds - which cover 90% of the child’s life.
Finding out that those who claim to have/you are told have the power and the answers are frail and fallible can be traumatic. One reaction is anger.
I agree her response is probably a bit much given that she’s evidently done ok (but from her point of view it might be the difference between valedictorian with ok results and valedictorian with a shot at getting into a really good university with some decent scholarships) but again, we’re talking about an 18 year old. Emotional maturity is a bit much to expect.
That would be lovely. Do we have such stories?
Usually with this sort of thing there would be a heap of folks piling in online with any facts that speak against the narrative.
So far, the best that has been put forward is someone making generic claims about:
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how hard a counsellor’s job in that school would be (fair enough but why should the pupils care?);
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that the counsellor in question lost her daughter (again, fair enough but the student has a point when she says that shouldn’t be allowed to impact on her work to the detriment of pupils; and
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how scholarship info is published by the school on a website and on a wall (I’m not sure how that is relevant if part of the school’s role is allegedly to inform students about scholarships that would suit them - which it apparently is - and they did it badly).
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After reading all other comments here, I would agree, but still my first comment might be the most liked one I ever have submitted to this BBS.
So, I would totally stand by it, and applaud this White Rider in the making.
/s, obviously. But to be fair, the short report without context resonated strongly. I gave such a speech, a long time ago, and used it to settle a score with a teacher who told me I wouldn’t be higher education material. I am still not proud of it and proud of it at the same time. It did lessen the pain a bit, but the inflicted wound is still there, and I still ain’t able to trust my own abilities. Impostor syndrome never leaves me, even after obtaining a proper PhD by hard work. Every attack on my scientific work still feels personal, and every fuckin’ time that teacher pops up in my mind.
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My niece wrote a blistering open letter to all the high school teacher and councilors who told her she would never succeed in college because “people like her” just couldn’t cut it. She graduated cum laude with a degree in social work and a promise to help kids “like her” who have been fed that line thoughout their lives. It was moving and inspiring, to the point that my wife made my youngest read it again every time he gripes about how “it’s just too hard.”
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And all seated separately. It seems sort of 1950s sexist at best. What about people who prefer not to declare their gender (one of those genders)?
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But the issue isn’t about forcing her to “care,” it’s about the fact that she called out the counselor in a graduation speech in front of hundreds of students, family, and colleagues. There’s a wide range of behavior between those two options.
Maybe the counselor had it coming, but maybe she didn’t. And maybe this was a really, really shitty thing to do to someone who didn’t deserve it. I’m just surprised by the lack of empathy for the target of her ire.
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I think you’re infantilizing her. Either she’s old enough to make these remarks and take criticism, or she is too young to be given credence. You can’t have it both ways.
As for the specifics of the grievances, I don’t think any of us know enough to say one way or the other, but I don’t think we should just take her word for it. And mostly my objection is about the tone and focus of her criticisms, which seem really centered around how things impacted her. She does not speak to systemic problems, or issues that other students are facing, she’s only concerned about herself.
When I was in high school, my guidance counselor’s involvement in my educational planning came down to giving me a test that suggested I’d be best suited to outdoor manual labor (I have a JD now, but she wasn’t wrong). Books of scholarships were available in the library for students to peruse whenever they liked. And you know who I blame for not getting into an Ivy League school or getting a full-ride to college? Me.
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Someone i knew through community college was studying interior design. She was a single mom that was busting her ass to make something of herself, she was nearly ready to graduate, was dealing with a severe break in her leg that would need surgery… something she postponed because a teacher would not relent and demanded work be presented on time. When she put together her graduation portfolio the one teacher who was also on the review panel flat out told her that he approved her portfolio only because he felt sorry for her and that it wasn’t very good. Surprise, her portfolio and booth at a job fair got best in show for her degree. Had they given her mic time i am 100% sure she would’ve put that asshole on blast, the teacher knew that she was struggling and going through a lot of personal things at the time and instead of being supportive he decided to be an asshole.
Faculty like that really incense me and i do not blame anyone that puts people like that on the spotlight. Sure maybe there’s a better avenue to air such grievances, but sometimes you just have to put things out there for the world to see.
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Yes, but if you decide to apply to a US university, because they have the gold-standard program for what you are learning, and your counselor decides to screw you over, you have a problem.
Different country, different time, but she could have been describing my high school.
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I’m not trying to.
Agreed. In the grand scheme of “valedictorians give outspoken speeches” this doesn’t exactly rank up with the other examples listed. Making specific complaints about issues which you think impacted you personally vs. highlighting widespread oppression…
OTOH the personal is political.
And you know, that’s fine. I’m simply suggesting that the situation might be viewed a little differently if you come at it from a background where you’ve been told that there will be all sorts of help available (but there isn’t) and then have the people who told you they were there to help (but in your view didn’t) take credit for what you see yourself as having achieved despite them.
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Like what? A counselor’s meeting?
SCNR.
I’ll see myself out now. My mood is bad enough, I should not ruminate on grievances from earlier times. Can’t even get across that river in front of me.
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To keep with the theme, pale lilac, maybe?
Just like the NFL anthem protests, the protester used the platform that was available to her. Your disappointment in her choice of platform is irrelevant. It was her only platform. She used it.
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You misunderstand. I’m most definitely not disappointed in her “choice of platform,” but I am pointing out that we really have no evidence that the school counselor she called out actually had it coming. And if she didn’t, it’s a really, really shitty thing to do to a person who has apparently suffered horrible tragedy recently. I’m disappointed in the lack of empathy, and the ease with which we rush to tear people down that might not have it coming.
The difference is that we know with absolute certainty that the police brutality and institutionalized racism being protested by some NFL players did deserve to be called out.
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