Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/05/30/high-school-student-claims-pri.html
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I still worry that one day people will realize I cribbed so much of my MFA thesis from Dude, Where’s My Car?
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Fire the motherfucker already.
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The principal or Ashton Kutcher?
Trick question of course; both is good.
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so the last bit of education given to these high school grads is that PLAGIARISM is ok… as long as you don’t get caught. 
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“And the final lesson I learned in life, was that kids know how to use the Internet, and I’m fucked.”
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That’s an inspirational speech? How does that speech even come up as the second ranked link in a google search (I’m going to guess the “always wear sunscreen” speech was first)?
Way to underestimate your audience, and undermine your message by plagiarizing it.
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Well, they have Trump as president, so, yeah!
Seriously: this might actually be a blessing in disguise for some of the kiddos as they get set to leave a fanciful world w/out much responsibility or care, and enter into a different fanciful world where the worst of the worst rise to the top, whether through various forms of plagiarism or even worse. This little fake-ass speech might serve as an early lesson for some of them on how the “real world”…uh…“works”.
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I guess it’s still a step up from that time Melania gave an inspirational speech about her experiences growing up as a black woman in the South Side of Chicago.
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In some parallel universe, the principal earns praise for being self-aware enough to know that speech-writing is not his strong suit, making an effort to figure out what might inspire the graduating teens, and following through by delivering a popular-if-not-proven, example of inspiration for his speech. He is immediately forgiven for this indiscretion by those affected, including Kutcher, because the students graduated both alive and wiser to the world.
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I’m sure it was meant as an homage. /s
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Sweeeeet!
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Duuuuuude!
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seriously though, if some senior that year handed in papers that were cribbed from the internet, and got busted, would he be allowed to sit at the ceremony and listen to that cribbed speech? practice what you preach, man!
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Yep. It should be a stepping stone to his next job, right?
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I cannot stand that guy.
You left of the silent apostrophe “and aware that they were dealt plagiarism and deceit by a man charged specifically with overseeing their educational wellfare” at the end of your sentence.
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I mean, you’re not wrong, but I think you might be overestimating the impact high school principal’s graduation speeches have in my hypothetical parallel universe. Here in the real world, though, obviously, graduation speeches are the pinnacle of life-changing learning, the moment of solidifying tenured wisdom on students eager to gain every bit of value their education affords them until they finally get to sneak out for the big grad party at Matt’s house, and we should be outraged.
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FWIW, the phrase “opportunity looks a lot like hard work” is part of a very old adage:
People miss opportunity because it is dressed in overalls and looks like hard work.
If the principal is old enough (eg, my age) he might have heard that growing up. Or, he might be an Ashton Kutcher fan. (I’m not sure where Kutcher would have heard it. Maybe from Neil Kinnock.)
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