There are certain sorts of things that one can, and should, say to oneself. One should look deeply at all the ways one might undermine oneself, and consider ways to present oneself in a better way. A person ought to seek out, within their own mind, what they could do better and what they should do differently. One should not be shy or delicate about it.
Unfortunately, these kinds of things do not come across well or kindly from any other person, no matter how good their intentions might be. A person’s voice is one of those things.
“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you
want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there
is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and
every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.”
Wow, this ‘conversation’ thing is easier than I thought!
I have read the OP. I disagree with the OP on a specific issue, which is why I posted my disagreement. Describing Hilary’s voice as ‘icepick-like’ is attacking a politician on irrelevant factors, subjecting them to hostile personal scrutiny, and caricaturing them. I have seen this done to pretty much every prominent politician, and especially in this election. Hence, the equivalence. The OP makes the case that it is an uniquely female problem. It is not. Not in this sphere. Celebrity, likely—I’ve never seen the way male celebrities speak talked about in any significant degree. With everyday folk? Very nearly certainly. With politicians? No.
I heard the reason for “niner” is to make it easier to distinguish from “five” on a garbled channel where you can only reliably make out the vowel sounds, but you’re absolutely right that the Midwestern accent is the closest thing American English has to a “pure” dialect. It’s what is spoken by TV newscasters, and call centers often place their operations in the midwest for the same reason.
And according to Tom Wolfe in The Right Stuff, the pilots’ drawl is in imitation of Chuck Yeager’s West Virginia accent.
I do, do, do, do, and am, but I have a tenor voice, and a high-pitched laugh that is essentially a loud giggle. When younger, I was embarrassed by it, but nowadays I say WTF. A data point for everyone’s thoughtful consideration. You’re welcome.
Edit: changed “your” to “everyone’s” – I’m replying to @nelsie for convenience.
I don’t think uptalk ruins women’s voices, I think it ruins the power of speech and makes a speaker sound less confident.
I don’t associate it with women because I /do/ associate it with Australians. It’s more fun to blame Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious for making Australia be a thing people listened to. Now it’s all Kylie this and Tim Minchin that.
Canadian upspeak is an implied “eh”. Both the upspeak and the “eh” are consensus builders (“ah, well you’re gonna want to get that fixed then, eh?” vs “Then you’re going to get it fixed?”).
When I hear vocal fry from men or women who are making their livings by speaking publicly, such as radio or podcast hosts, it just sounds amateurish to me. Like they haven’t learned to speak loudly and clearly into the microphone, or how to avoid running out of breath. I’m a man with a moderately deep voice who has vocal fry sometimes, particularly if I’m feeling tired or sick, but if I’m trying to get my message heard I make sure to speak loudly enough that I don’t croak.
I spent 10 years in the theater and another 3 as a drama teacher. I lettered in Speech in high school. I majored in linguistics. I’m currently a museum docent who spends several hours a week talking to large crowds of people in acoustically mediocre galleries.
It’s just something my voice does, sometimes, and it has nothing to do with my professionalism or my projection. I’ve always rather liked it, myself.
Edit: oh and speaking of projection, I used to be co-leader of a CUUPS group. My church stopped allowing me to have microphones after I blew out two of them. I am loud.
I try not to use it much because I know it’s judged really harshly, but to me it signals that the speaker cares about engaging with listeners and it often makes me feel more comfortable. Especially true IRL and accompanied by visual cues.
I also like vocal fry, so am having a bit of trouble understanding how everyone can hate both so much. But yeah, as a woman with a naturally high(ish) voice they’re on my ever growing list of things to police…
I actually enjoy hearing the initial “so”. In my experience people who use it tend to know what they are talking about. I guess that is from listening to many Ted talks and science podcasts.
Here it is, hopefully more plainly:
The men are, correctly, blamed for judging the content of women’s talk mostly/only by its presentation.
The women are, incorrectly, mostly not blamed for doing the EXACT same thing. Of course, if they do it, its because of the men.
By pointing my finger at this, I’m just another data point which ‘proves’ that the whole world is a patriarchy - a very convoluted and perverse example of victim blaming. This pattern starts early in boys’ lives.
One could quite credibly argue that the women are being as equally or moreso punished by not being hired, not being promoted, and not being paid as much. Valid point.
