Waitress receives tip: God wants you to go home and cook

Luke 12:

27 Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

28 If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?

29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.

31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

9 Likes

Well, when he dictated to “Saint” Paul he somehow forgot to speak very good Greek.

2 Likes

Anybody who has worked in a service industry can tell you stuff like this is common. (Although this is sort of above and beyond vileness). Aside from the ‘idelogical opposition to tipping’ strategy, another common tip avoidance strategy I find particularly loathsome is the ‘effusive verbal praise instead of a tip’ tip.

9 Likes

Seriously. If you’re speaking with a waiter at any restaurant where a meal costs less than $100, then they’re likely making less than minimum wage. Kind words don’t pay rent.

We have some upscale restaurants as part of the business I work for. It’s like average $50 a meal. The waitstaff still make less than minimum, and dog help you if the accounting and payroll software goes on the fritz for a day. The only people who make better than minimum are the event coordinators, the managers, and the head chef and sous chef.

13 Likes

Casinos already have the ability; it’s a mature technology at this point. Just sayin’ :smiley:

1 Like

You’ve missed the second part of the recipe where you throw away the okra and fry absolutely anything else, then eat that. :wink:

7 Likes

Sounds like cockatoo soup.

  1. Put a cockatoo and a stone on to boil.

  2. Wait until the stone goes soft.

  3. Throw out the cockatoo, eat the stone.

7 Likes

There’s a recipe for snails very like that which involves tomatoes, stock, vegetables, spices and garlic made into a hot, tasty soup. Then you take out the snails, look at them, put them in the garden and eat the soup.
(we used to have a house with a limestone wall around much of the garden that hosted vast numbers of snails, and as we were 100% organic once a year a local organisation would collect our snails and sell them as street food for charity. I never, ever ate one.)

2 Likes

If you cannot think
Of better things than haikus
You are thinking wrong.

When the cherry tree
Explodes in pink in the spring
Woodman thinks chainsaw.

Poetry in soul
Is good, but even better
Are frequent paychecks.

Composing haiku
Is on the other hand much
Better than okra.

13 Likes

Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s just an American thing.

At least, it doesn’t happen Australia to any notable extent.

6 Likes

Asshole customers?
I’m sure this happens everywhere.
Even Australia.

3 Likes

Arseholes, yeah sure. But the issue I’m addressing is more specific.

It’s obviously tied to this myth of the meritocracy some of you cling so dearly to.

But what else can add that unique blend of bitter, shitty green pepper filled with snot?

1 Like

I’m sure even some Australians moralize to the waitstaff the way some Americans do. We didn’t exactly invent talking down to working people… although Americans are an outlier on the religiosity/wealth curve, so specifically religious moralizing is probably more likely to occur in America. Classist moralizing happens everywhere, though.

4 Likes

Spent years in Australian retail, never saw anything like this.

We have arsehole customers, sure. But they’re secular arseholes.

11 Likes

Really? You’ve never heard the old “if you worked hard like me you wouldn’t be stuck in this shitty job” line? I was pretty sure classist moralizing occurred everywhere, even if religious moralizing is far more common in the US.

3 Likes

Nope, nothing close to it. That sort of shit is very, very American.

3 Likes

Sounds like you guys need to get more Protestant Ethic in that Spirit of Capitalism!

7 Likes

Bonmot-edly vent
I find it exhausting…Whew
This constant finding

Let me point out that “vent” in French means “wind”, making this a perfectly acceptable haiku in Canada.

8 Likes

I also wonder if they know any couple in this day and age who can afford to raise even one child on a single salary!

7 Likes