'Wanted: Unknown Cow.' Florida cow on the loose sought by authorities

Why mention the cow is from Florida? What’s wrong with Florida? Why do you mention where things happen when they happen? How dare you impugn an entire state and its cows?

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I’m udderly disgusted by the use of puns by the AP. They should put the journalist in the patty wagon and haul them off. These guys are taking small stories and milking them for all they’re worth.

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How now?

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I’ve got heffer mind to tell them “You’re pasture quota of puns!”

They’re teating this with udder disregard.

Or so I’ve herd…

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Gotta milk it for all its worth.

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Yes, latte jokes about this one…

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Is it a Sacred Cow? Asking for a cow-friend.

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That’s no bull.

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I know from experience that Florida cow patties are an excellent source for magic mushrooms.

Anyhow, I’m #teamcow

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You’ve already heard my old puns about this story, but you haven’t heard manure ones.

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But I cud’ve been ruminanting about them.

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This seems like a good place to post a song about cows who wander the multiverse and study quantum mechanics. Gentlepeople, I give you The Cows of Mystery:

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Is this cow on the lamb?

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Obligatory.

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Probably not, but here’s the Sacred Chao

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