Watch: 9-year-old girl's one-liners for The New Yorker cartoon caption contest are all winners

And my God, did you see her handwriting? Like a goddam fourth grader! And don’t get me started on her spelling!

(For the record, my 9-year-old was also pretty damn clever, but I don’t have the footage to prove it, and he’s less charming at 20.)

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complaints

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cartoonists

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Now? You notice now?! Not circa mid to late 2016? Seriously?

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Christ, what a bunch of assholes in these comments.

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"Next time catch a fish, though."
Quality anti-joke.
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Close the internet for the rest of the day. You win.

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I’ve been busy…

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“how’s life?” “the same”

That one was brilliant.

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You are behind the bell curve, it started in the 1520’s. Welcome to the 21th century.

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Christ, what an art-hero.

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Sheesh. Who pissed in your cheerios?

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Apparently, 9 year old girls?

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Wait, when did this become about R Kelly?

Never? Because GAH!

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The winning caption was:
“No, I’m sorry. You’ll need a separate remote for your DVD.”

The other two finalists:
“It comes with its own remote.”
“There’s actually a guy in here who will change the channels for you.”

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