WATCH: Parkour might save you in the zombie apocalypse


#1

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#2

God damn the Running Dead anyway. I’m sticking to armor and weaponry. I mean, what’s the point of running if their cold dead flesh and stopped metabolism somehow allows them to outrun even this guy? You’d already be outnumbered anyway. Dig in, hole up, and lock & load.


#3

Parkour can also save you if you ever need to disarm a nuclear weapon to stop a genocidal conspiracy.


#4

Believe me, if I’ve got zombies chasing me I’ll out-par any kour!


#5

No fair, the zombies are doing parkour, too. That’s not how it’s supposed to go!
I’m assuming this is a paid promotional video for the upcoming parkour/zombie video game. (Although hopefully the zombies aren’t doing parkour in the video game as well.)


#6

The first person parkour was awesome, but…

i just have to ask about the zombies that know parkour…were they traceurs who were bitten, or did they acquire their skills simply from being bitten? That part makes no sense to me.


#7

Heck, if there’s a running zombie outbreak, you’re totally screwed, so you might as well eat a bullet as soon as you see the first zombie come sprinting down the street. A slow zombie outbreak is potentially survivable, but fast zombies are going to spread like wildfire and be unstoppable and inescapable.


#8

Is it just me or does it seem like European cities are far more Parkour-able than American cities?

I mean, up close and personal in the video shows us hundreds of years of renovations, building code violations, and quick fixes to building code violations to work with. All driven by space being at a premium.

In the states, we have more room to work with, and fewer years of the aforementioned renovations and building code violations. That line of thinking would make big Eastern cities more comparable in their Parkourability (sp?), but I’ve never really visited any of those, just ones farther west.

I would ask why Asia didn’t develop their own Parkour, given these factors, but you know… Hong Kong Cinema.

Thoughts anyone?


#9

Right, the survivable type of zombie apocalypse requires that zombies, upon being turned, are less physically able than your average adult human. In movies like Dawn of the Dead, the idea that they can run fast alone is a terrible game changers. The idea that becoming undead turns everyone into a parkour expert? I think your only hope would be huge barriers, like oceans or mountain ranges or something. As the video demonstrates.


#10

My first experience with Parkour was when I was about 19 years old, tripping balls, and for some reason thought that police had raided my party. So, like you do, I took a running leap out of a third floor window. I just kept grabbing and landing upon things as I made my way about the rooftops. How did I survive? No idea, but it was better than the alternative.


#11

I’ll agree with the folks who feel Parkour zombies basically make no sense in the context of the genre. “28 Days Later” had the over-caffeinated infected who weren’t actually dead, ditto for the dreadful Will Smith version of “I Am Legend,” although they were reanimated dead in the Vincent Price version. And in “World War Z” it was not even clear if the hyped up “zombies” were dead since there was no mandatory death-and-reanimation sequence. It wasn’t even clear what they did to people, stole their Iphones?

But if there are hyperactive bodies, they need to be killable by a center of mass body shot. You can’t have it both ways - if they have the metabolism of a gerbil they should able to be put down by other means than a head shot.


#12

Joss Whedon addressed the importance of parkour in the event of a Romney-caused zombie apocalypse. Too good to let die with the last presidential election.


#13

@popobawa4u hehe, that feeling when you find yourself on the other side of an immense and immovable obstacle.


I am reminded of a line from Iain M. Banks’ Excession:

There came a point when if a conspiracy was that powerful and subtle it became pointless to worry about it.

The zombie escalation is getting out of hand. Eventually they will be able to smash through any wall and obstacle to get you. Ninja quiet, tooled up with zombie-modded, heat-seeking flame throwers that teleport to your location. Bah humbug.


#14

Instead of messing about like that, dude needed to get to the rocket launcher spawn point. He’d have been able to make that last jump if he’d just lobbed a properly timed rocket, and if he had enough ammo, maybe take out a couple of the things chasing him.


#15

I thought I saw an Overshield behind that third Dumpster…


#16

In soviet zombie, chasers out-kour par!


#17

At that point, he may have lost his presence of mind.


#18

it would be nice to have a suburban parkour video where after a bit the hero starts to wonder if he hasn’t run over this house before.


#19

Centre-of-mass ain’t gonna stop 'em. You gotta take out the legs.


#20

But rapid elbow crawlers?