WATCH: Patriotic fireworks safety supercut

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“Hey, hold my beer. Now watch this!”

What’s the point of doing these demonstrations with clothing mannequins rather than stand-ins designed to mimic the response of real human bodies?

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Let’s not give ISIL ideas.

Seriously, THIS.

Could we get something like this in the Deadliest Warrior show style/methods?

If we cannot get ballistic gel with skeleton inside, can we at least get it shown on pork corpses?

High-speed cameras and sensors would also be a definite plus.

Edit: Even better - make it a show evaluating safety gear and testing the what’s-safe-and-what-not calculations so we can be empowered with the magic of back-of-the envelope estimations.

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I commend the choice of musical accompaniment

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“Our wheelbarrows shall darken the sky!”

“Good! Then we shall drink in the shade!”

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The reason why they don’t: foam board mannequins are more fragile than properly made ballistic gel, thus making it look a lot worse.

This is preferable because the government doesn’t want “safe fireworks handling”. They want “less fireworks handling”, and scaremongering is better for that than actual education.

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Time to shove it up their collective posteriors, then. Scaremongering propaganda is best countered with a hefty dose of experimental truth.

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The flaming stump of a head was a nice touch tho…

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Body part most at risk this fourth of July?

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That was an educational and informative video. Running a rocket down a thread hanging from a hat so it goes straight into the wearer’s eye = awesome prank. Check any gift hats carefully, people!

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