Don't strap fireworks to your head


#1

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#2

Great, now no fire works for everyone. Unless “Fire works should not be strapped on the head or inserted Anally”


#3

If you’re like me, even if you know what a mortar is, you might not know how the firework version works. (6:24 for the payoff) Have this video:

I don’t know if the guy attached the tube, or the mortar “shell” by itself, but I can’t imagine any planet on which a sober individual might think it was safe to do that. (Except Earth, apparently.)


#4

“Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.”
—Mark Twain (Pudd’nhead Wilson)


#5

I think this was supposed to read, “A gentleman in Maine…”


#6

People will blame Darwin, but I think Newton is to blame here.


#7

Also omitted from the summary: “alcohol may have been involved.”


#8

It pains me to say this, but that mortar tube launch does not seem that dangerous. I am by no means advocating putting any sort of fireworks on one’s head, though.


#9

I know, it’s actually pretty vanilla as aerial displays go. He went out with a whimper of a bang, as these things go.

It reminds me about blanks in guns, they have sufficient force to kill at very close range, but people can get careless and think of them as toys.


#10

Woah, dude! Rob, I am sure glad you warned me. I had the duct tape and matches and was heading outside, and decided to check the BBS one last time to see if there was anything that might make me laugh or get pissed off again. I think you might have saved my life!

Can I strap it to my ass?


#11

Is the alligator OK?


#12

Well, I guess that’s one way to go out with a bang …


#13

That’s very sad … and he was so young.


#14

its always sad when someone doesn’t get to learn the hard way… :sleepy:


#15

(on a total side note…who in the heck made these emoticons…sad looks startled, and sleepy looks sad with this tear…relaxed is more embarrassed then blush, pensive looks sleepier then sleepy, dizzy and astonished are dead…i just don’t…i…)


#16

Well. I’m glad he died instantly, because I can imagine the poor bastard slowly dying while being tended by snickering, eye-rolling nurses and doctors who can barely contain their unbelieving contempt while discussing the case with grieving visitors.


My friends and I did plenty of goofy and dangerous things with fireworks, but never while drunk and never without goggles and heavy clothing.

For what it is worth: A Saturn Missile Battery, held in a gloved hand, is great for pinning down troops advancing up the beach.


#17

I assume that it is the equal and opposite reaction that got him. If it was a big round it is probably like getting hit with a bat.


#18

Yeah. Just picture throwing a baseball straight up as high as those mortar rounds go. Imagine the effort that would go into that. Now imagine 100% of that effort is used to punch someone in the face… There you go!


#19

He finally stopped smoking…


#20

Don’t strap fireworks to your head - that should be a no-brainer.