Watch this insanely dated 1978 musical, "Junior High School" starring a young Paula Abdul

You know, society has really gone downhill since we stopped letting students from putting weaker kids in trash cans and just pushing their books down on the ground and kicking them around between classes as casually as saying hi to your friend on the way to class. Ah, those were the days, when we made boys into real men. Yeah, that terror in the hallways made a man out of me, and it’ll make a real man out of you too! That’s what school is about: Crushing the weaker person under you and making them bleed. Yeah. That’s a real education. None of that fancy-schmancy care-about-your-fellow-human-being crap! Just kick’em around, point, and laugh with your friends. That was a good time. Chugging back those beers and then throwing the cans at that guy you just beat up laying on the ground - all before class.

Ahhh…those were the days.

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What’s with this past-tense lamentation?! It’s a glorious time to be in America.


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